Good-Bye 2005

Truth is I miss this Michael Jackson, just keepin it real!

Ok I've decided to end 2005, by not getting out of my jammies. Is that wrong? Ron's in the storage room going through boxes that have been untouched since we moved here in 2003. So I think I will venture into my scrappin/laundry room and ORGANIZE. You heard me right maybe if I find my table I'll do one more page for 2005. Happy New Year everyone, the only resolution or intention (sounds more doable) I have for the coming year is to continue to eat healthy, I lost 20 lbs last year, gained 10 back, so I am still 10 lbs lighter than last year so I seem to be going in the right direction. Yipeee......

I love Technology......

Not as much as you, you see, always and forever! Good heavens long time no blog. I was checking Stacie's blog and was like dude blog already! Um duh....I haven't blogged either. I feel like I've been a veg since Christmas was over. Not really wanting to do much of anything but mess with my ipod, take photo's of my gnome and watch TV. But alas, I met my peeps tonight at Archivers, and we got our scrap on. I may have only done 2 pages and did a tiny bit of gossiping, but it felt good. The page creating did anyways. I think we frighten newer scrappers. After all according to some we invented scrapbooking (little inside jokey). We had a stranger sitting with us this evening. From what I've seen and know, it seems your average scrapper does not use staples or sandpaper. Heck they may not even own an inkpad. We scare them with all of our equiptment. But a page creation just doesn't feel right without using something rather unconventional. I picked up Big Picture Scrapbooking and I have to tell ya it could be one of those idea books that changes my way of scrappin forever, just like Becky and Rebecca did, not to mention Heidi Swapp. Such simple and doable ideas on how to organize crap, and taking the stress and tension out of scrapping photo. Wow who knew? We all did it's just nice for someone to say it outloud. So I submitted this layout but so what I will also blog it because it probably won't get picked up, nothing ever does and I am completely fine with that. It was one I had sketched out when I was considering doing HOF this year, it's done but not for HOF.....too dang stressful. I don't care how amazing this layout may be to anyone, NO I am not entering HOF so don't even start people. This is the first I've scrapped since November I believe. Felt good, real good....can I do it again soon?

The Wee Gnome has been on the move. This is from this evenings antics. Went to Biggs after scrappin, so it was around midnightish, did my grocery shopping, great time for that basically had the place to myself, just me and the Gnome. So much fun, I'd venture to say one of my favorite gifts ever. Oh and yes I am aware it's nearly 4 am.....good Lord, I should go to bed now.

It's really over!

Christmas that is. Now the after Christmas sales. Favorite gift given to me? Oprah in a box. Very thoughtful of my husband to give me that. I stayed up till 2:30 am watching the first disc, cried and cried. Didn't sob till I came to the story about Mattie! Oh if we could all be as inspiring as this little boy and view life through his eyes, what a better place this world would be. Photo's of the festivities.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Something very sick and twisted about Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo. But it's dang funny!
Those of you who can't really stomach dancing poo with a Santa hat, check out this rap about The Chronic-les of Narnia.

Have a blessed Holiday!

Meet The Wee Gnome.

First Adventure out
Originally uploaded by Yoda0419.

My friend at work Marianne gave me this Wee Gnome, because she knew I'd have fun with him. Guess the legend began in england. Respectable folks would steal other peoples garden gnome, take it on a trip, take photo's while gone and send to the owners. This is a small Gnome, perfect to go anywhere, and fun I shall have indeed.

Jesus is the Reason for Life....

So little to blog about so much time, strike that reverse it. Still running this marathon called the Christmas season. I remain behind this year. All I know is that my non-helpful husband better pull himself together, not complain and just be helpful tomorrow. Lots of stuff to do before we head out to Indiana to celebrate with family. I decided since I am lame, and have no gifts for my relatives, they always get gifts for Perry and often for us, just a little something, usually less than $10, but for some reason I forget that I am now a grown up and am suppose to participate in the gift giving. My immediate family, and close friends whom I buy for every year, I do fine, and I don't forget, everyone else, I'll get a gift and be like "ah dag....had I known"......DUH! So this year I will cook, I'll take a side dish and a desert and call it my gift. Not to mention the 2 bottles of wine I am taking to show some love. Except I'm not sure I've ever seen these relatives drink wine. Ahhhh come on cousins we're grown ups lets have a little wine and be respectable. Which brings me to one of many topics I'd like to discuss at this wee hour in the morning.

WINE: I've just discovered how nice wine can be. You find something you like have a few glasses with your friends, it's really quite appealing. There's just something about it. Sure I am a fine Christian women, who puts Christ first in her life and make great strides to make sure that is apparent. So why should an occasional glass of wine a few times a year be so controversial? You get the looks, and the comments like no Christian should be drinking at all. Ok um why not? You get nuts like my father who call a nice bottle of wine BOOZE....simmer down old man, it's chardonnay not moonshine. The bible clearly says do not be DRUNK with wine but be filled with the Holy Spirit. So 1 or 2 glass I am not drunk, even 6 still not drunk, my lips may be a bit numb, but I'm not what I would call drunk. Now if you know you clearly have a drinking problem or you know that it could become an issue than no an occasional glass of wine is not ok, because you know that's not all it will be. If you know you can't just drink a few beers and be done, then no it's not ok. Drinking strictly to numb whatever problems you aren't willing to deal with in life, nope that's not ok. So funny thing happened while discussing alcohol at church this evening. Ha! I was discussing wine and taking it to Christmas eve with the fam, along with a brief discussion on Appletini's with Cyndi before the play this evening. And a very nice lady sitting in front of us heard us, and her ears perked up, and she added what other "tini's" are good. Was sure to add, that she wasn't much of a drinker but a glass of wine or 2 is quite nice. Nothing like some alcohol advice while at church.......only at the Vineyard. Hopefully she found it to be a safe place after that discussion since I don't think she had ever been to our church before as she was filling out a "connect card".

CHURCH: Ok so apparently church not happening on Christmas Sunday is rather controversial. Who knew. I am so dang easy going, I didn't give it another thought. I respected the fact that VCC was choosing not to have church on Sunday. I'm sure a great deal of thought went into their reasons why. Besides Jesus isn't only the reason for the season he's the reason for everyday and every Sunday. And if folks are so hell bent (funny hell bent) on going to church on Sunday then go to another church, we all worship the same God! Selfish me, welcomes not adding church to the mix of the already way too busy and stressful day. I guess all this nonsense must be in the paper and on the news, I've not seen either so I am drawing my own conclusions. So for a good laugh check out what was going on in my life this time last year.

24 Hours....

Just doesn't ever seem long enough. Well the important thing is the cards are mailed. The last batch went out today. I have a few more last minute gifts to buy and that's done, just need to finish wrapping. Tomorrow after I shop with my dad, I hope to have time to make cookies. Bought ingredients tonight. Friday night is the play, then the Christmas festivities begin. All this prep, and it'll be over in 2 short days.

Perry started the evaluations with Childrens this week. We had our first appointment, with many more happening in January. I am hopeful for the outcome of all of this. He can be very trying at times. But most of the time he's delightful. When talking to the psychologist at childrens yesterday, I mentioned I get stressed out, and lose my patience every now and then. He completely understood, and said you are doing the thinking for 2 people, it has to be stressful, theres no way it couldn't be. Maybe if I'd just get more sleep, dealing with him would be easier, and less stressful. Hummmm...might be onto something.

Upwards...

Basketball that is. Ok so my son's not skilled as an athlete. But for this program you don't have to be. They are encouraged to memorize scripture for each practice. They were given a CD and each weeks scripture is put to song so they can get the verse down. Music.....now that he can do. Put something to song, he'll get it after hearing it once and sing it for days. So Mr. P-man, may not be able to dribble a ball, but ask him what Act 17:24 is and he'll give you the 411!
"The God who made the world, and all things in it is the Lord of heaven and earth and all things in it and does not live in temples built by hand." This is good stuff, I am a huge advocate of scripture memorizing. I don't do it as well as I once did, but hiding God's word in your heart is something that will stick with you forever.

Got my wrap on today. I get together each year with my peeps from church and do wrap it up at Tri County mall. 2 hours I connect with strangers over a counter while I wrap their gifts, ummmmm for free. Big fun. Best was the two little hispanic teenagers who were all giggly and embarrassed. One was 11 and the other 13. Giggling and talking in spanish to each other and asking me questions in english. The younger of the two, was impressed we did this for free, and she was curious as to why. When I said "to show Gods love in a practical way." it was like a little light went on and she was rather excited about it. She said she'd like to do that too. So so cute! Whenever I do wrap it up, I'm always afraid of the women whose going to be particular about how things are wrapped. And sure enough I got one of those this time. She was helping me and giving me instructions on how to wrap. Hey whose the professional here. LOL....she was helpful, but even in wrapping gifts I'm a women controled by chaos, don't mess with that. I promise you your gift will be completely covered with paper and tape when I am done and your gift recipient will not be able to tell what it is. Isn't that the goal really? To me pretty is optional. My sister in law filled in with her friends for folks in my group who couldn't make it, they had a blast, and plan to join us again next year. Ok the countdown continues and MY CARDS AREN'T MAILED YET......Be patient people. It's amazing to me what few cards you get until your's actually go out in the mail.

CHEESE

CHEESE
Originally uploaded by Yoda0419.

So it's year 11 for the annual Christmas movie Party, no movie was even attempted this year. The kids watched while playing Polar Express many times. We however drank wine and coffee, ate and played Apples to Apples. My gosh we get so loud. I often wonder if the loud people weren't there or if we'd all just quiet down for a while, would we actually have meaningful conversations and get a chance to catch up and hear about each others lives? Maybe someday when the kids are grown and we go back to drinking coffee. I love my friends, but my goodness you people can get rather loud. Always a blast...love my peeps no matter how different they are. More photo's of the festivities if you click on the cheese.

The countdown Begins

What is it like 9 more days till Christmas. Geez, I wish I was still in the Smokey Mountains, because that would mean it was still October, and I had a ton of time. I could go back and do some better planning and better budgetting. Why is it when you need money the most you budgetting skills fail you every year at the same time. Someday I'll get it right and we'll live within our means. From what I am hearing from my peeps, for some reason this holiday season has got a ton of folks overwhelmed and everyone is behind on their Holiday shopping and projects. Christmas cards are going out in stages, hopefully all will be sent before Christmas. So if you normally get one, and it's Christmas and you haven't got one yet, be patient! Steven Curtis Chapman, looks good for a dude in his 40's. Admittedly I've not been his biggest fan, but that's a dang good video, and song. Rock on SCC! I must say again Narnia was an awesome flick, and good to see even a non-christian can enjoy it and even call it beautiful. Oh yes cousin you may not see it, but some kind of seed has been planted in that Athiest heart of yours! CS Lewis is good for that, because he too was once an Athiest as well until the author of the Lord of the Rings got a hold of him.

Christmas Label Curse!

So I have all the address's placed nice and neatly in their individual boxes, prepared to be printed, so how come they don't print in the nice boxes for the labels? Why is that....I refuse to hand write 68 address's.

NARNIA.....

So much other stuff went on this weekend, I neglected to mention I saw Narnia on Friday! Beautiful, is the best I can describe it. Could be that I've been a fan of the books since I was a child, and to see them come to life so perfectly right before my eyes was awesome. As Lucy touched the snowy branches through the wardrobe, I wanted to cry, it was just how I imagined it would be. The symbolism is way cool if you actually know what's going on. But my question is would non-christians who know nothing of the bible even get it? Maybe not, but I do think that subconsciously the seed is planted, they may not even realize it.

God job's a no go, and I feel good about it. Last thing I want to do is be stuck in another mind numbingly boring job of data entry. I am sure I could have done it, but it probably would have gotten boring after a while just as my current position has. I venture to think that probably not as boring as life insurance since I would have some element of interest in the work I would have been doing, but they didn't think I'd be a good fit, and I trust they know what they are doing. They certainly didn't come to the decision quickly it was well thought through so it's all good. So in thinking through the process when they came to the decision that they did not want to hire me for the paying position, here they have all this information on me, of what I've done over my 20+ years as a christian and where my spiritual journey has taken me, which is quite a lot. They then offer me a coaching position, which is a huge deal, and flattering. Since for the most part volunteers are valued at VCC, big time. They probably run the majority of most ministries, as you will find in most successfully ran churches. So right now every ounce of my being is telling me not to do it, that I'm not there yet, and that it would take up more time than I am able to give. But I haven't given it the respectible amount of prayer that, that kind of decision needs, so I shall pray before I make my final decision. God knows what he's doing better than I. Kind of bummed I didn't get the job, but I'm ok.

Fancy To-do....

Heres a photo of us from the fancy to-do. Sorry the batteries were dead at the wedding reception so no photo's of the wedding party....I know you are all sad.

Is it over yet?

The weekend that is? Nope one more day, tomorrow, and then it will be over with. What a freakin busy day! Started with picking up P's basketball uniform. He's going to look so dang cute in purple and gold, lets just hope he learns to dribble and not slap the ball. Lets hope he learns what direction to run, and all sorts of cool teamwork type stuff. It'll be good for him.....I think. We then went to walgreens and began our Christmas shopping....well I did begin, day after thanksgiving, but had only purchased gifts for Ron and P, but had nothing for anyone else, so we got some filler gifts at the Walgreens, which I'd highly reccomend for one of kind inexpensive yet appealing gifts. Ok now time to attempt to blog about todays festivities. Honestly you'd have to be there to get the full experience, but I will make an attempt at doing it justice. It was almost as if my husband and I were attempting to "one-up" each other at who could come up with the most "out of my comfort zone experience", and guess what I WON!

Ron: "Honey would you call that a non-traditional wedding?"
Yes dear I believe you would. Rewind 2 weeks ago, on a thursday evening around 8pm, I answer the phone to an unfamiliar number on the caller ID, and was greeted with an unfamiliar voice on the other end. He tells me his name...and still I'm like "who?" Then he said your husbands brother, still nothing is registering, because you see, yes my husband has a brother, however we've not seen or heard from him in over 4 years. I then apologized and we began to talk. He tells me he's getting married.......IN TWO WEEKS.......right no better time than the PRESENT! I suppose there was a bit of prior planning and we were just an afterthought after all he hadn't talked to us in 4 years. Theres not an actual wedding though, just a reception. Apparently something about friends and a justice of the peace, then a fancy to-do at STORMIN NORMINS SPORTS BAR. Ok when I read sports bar, I think of a place with big screen TV's, chicken wings and those cool tall glass's they fill with beer. Usually a large facility, with your typical smoking and NON-SMOKING areas. Commonly they'll have sports on the big screen TV's. I mean map-quest went so far as to give Stormin Normin's 5 stars, and we felt safe. Until we walked in through the steel backdoor with a sign directing us to the reception we were about to attend. Do you ever have one of those surreal moments where you feel like you've just entered a dream sequence.....like Wayne and Garth in Waynes World? That was us, after we walked through the door. Me in my nice festive green argyle cardign, cords, and sketcher hiking boots. Ron who had changed into some cargo pants from jeans, because he felt he might be too casual in jeans and a plaid long sleeve button up abercrombie shirt. Most of the guest appeared to be dressed in usual bar attire, mostly black, many in LEATHER. We felt a bit out of place to say the least. The only thing that would have made me feel more uncomfortable is if the music had come to a screeching halt when we walked through the door. Thank God it didn't. Because you see it was blaring as loud as it possibly could the whole hour we were there. Apparently they don't really like to talk to each other in these places, and if they need to they like to be as close to your ear as possible so you can hear them. Everyone appeared to be looking at us, almost the entire time we were there, I don't think they had seen anything like us. I felt like the humans on planet of the apes. And yes we did take the small human with us. He at least was some comic releaf that eliminated a tiny bit of the fact that we wanted to run right back out the door. He had a blast dancing, and talking to folks. At one point Ron was asked to dance by the bride, and he respectfully declined. I was then asked to dance by the best man, who happened to be a man in his 40's with long hair, and he happened to be wearing leather, pants and I believe a studded belt. Far be it for me to decline a dance with this nice gentlemen when Lionel Richey was playing.....so I danced.....for just a moment, since apparently another lady, who was intoxicated wanted him more than I, so I had my out. I don't think I am a snob by any means. I can go to a bar and have a beer or a glass of wine and feel perfectly comfortable. But this was a very small bar, with lots of smoke, and quite a few people I had never encountered before. It was what one would refer to as a "dive", "hole in the wall" bar. I guess his brother was very comfortable there, since these people have become his family at the absense of his own family, which is great. This was one of those weddings where the party was for the people who got married, not for the guests. And I am sure they had the time of their lives. We however were rather smelly upon our escape from the dream sequence. We both got in the car, first let out a good theraputic yell for what we had just encountered and then were like ewwwww...you smell really bad, like an ashtray soaked in beer. We both but all our clothes in the wash when we got home along with our coats. And then showered, and still feel like I smell. I am sure the party goers had a good laugh at our expence once we left.
Once we left there, I was really looking forward to the FANCY ARMY CHRISTMAS DINING OUT. This event I usually either avoid and have some lame excuse why I can't go, or I go and dread it. But after the "reception", this Fancy to-do felt like it could be a day at the beach! And it was. We had a lovely time, a few of the guys I've known and "dined out" with many times over 12 years. I've been to their weddings, got to know some of the wives, so much of the uncomfortable feel is tolerable. Completely tolerable after what I forced my husband to endure this afternoon. I wore my Austin Powers/ George Washington fancy outfit and was completely comfortable. Even though most of the ladies were wearing as I expected, dresses with no sleeves, or spaghetti strapped sequenced dress's. Barf.....it's dang cold out, aren't you people freezin? I think that tomorrows play will be rather uneventful compared to todays festivities, tough to top any of that. I am just happy to be the big winner of the "OUT OF YOU COMFORT ZONE" challenge. I challenge all of you to top me!

SNOWDAY!

It took me 3 hours to get home from work last night. Perry's got no school, and I got no childcare.....so we got to play in the snow, and I'll got to work when Ron wakes up. Such is life.  

DTMT...

That's "Do too Much Tuesday", it's back! Just incase you were concerned you'd never see it again, it has resurfaced it's ugly little head! Much needed prayer that I make it through today and that all things go well. I have no doubt today will be a good day.....busy but good.

Outfit for fancy to-do...done.
Christmas cards.....in progress
Christmas letter....NOT
Christmas shopping.....plenty of time

Still could use a life assistant if anyones offering their services for free!

Fancy "to-do" Outfit....

I couldn't get the desire to dress like Austin Powers out of my head while shopping. I saw this shirt and kept going back to it. Tried on a few things that were less than flattering, and just took the plunge got the shirt, w/o trying on, got the jacket, had the goucho's, hooked it up with some FISHNET stocking, (I've never owned a pair I swear, who knew these were such a turn on to men???), and some super cool boots. All the sudden I am totally comfortable and I look oddly like I should be kicking it whe Thomas Jefferson and his peeps signing the declaration of independence. And as you see thanks to Harold and his mad skills I could totally fit in!
I think Harold and Ron were plotting against me after the photo I posted of Ron....but ha....I am proud of the versitility of my outfit, that could be worn in many different eras.

By the way anyone know where I can find directions on how to make these as gifts?

Yeah Ok....

Is it too much to ask these folks to smile?? Always messin' with me....just freakin smile would ya?.....And look my husbands got the kid acting like a nut too. Geez!
All I got to say about that is....it's now on the blog for the world to see, and not only this picture but the one I'm about to show, the one you were begging to be deleted. Now next time maybe you'll smile!

Yeah um don't mess with me!

LET THE MADNESS BEGIN!!!!

Apparently all sorts of folks are begging for your attention around the holiday season. I being all about the boundries, and not putting too much on my plate try very hard to avoid doing too much but even when you limit you activities things get a bit overwhelming. Suddenly I am very behind on EVERYTHING! I have 3.....out of 80 Christmas cards done. Not even started my christmas letter, have sent no invites to the annual to-do thats in 2 weeks, and I still need to finish purchasing parts of my fancy outfit for a formal I am going to next weekend. CAN I GET A LIFE ASSISTANT PLEASE? And then my sister in law had to have a baby last year in December so add a baby's first birthday to the mix and you have holiday madness! Oh and christmas shopping, don't go there.

I did purchse P a super cool old school big wheel for christmas, that is in my husbands trunk....which I forgot so when we were shopping for the baby's present, and we go to put it in the trunk with P standing right there....trunk lid went up and quickly came back down....very funny! I think he saw but might forget cause he didn't get a good look at it, and he's not expecting it.

Things seem to be looking up on the ADD front. We unloaded the "insensitive, this is just my job what kind of drugs do you need" psychiatrist, and we saw our family physician, what a breath of fresh air, Dr. Lichter rocks, when I voiced my concern about Concerta and if it's working when it needs to he went so far as to get out the ginormous book of drugs to show me what it does and how it does it. It had cool graphs and everything. Love that he sensed that I was an intelligent person who would get that kind of stuff. I totally got it and feel much better about Conceta and it's effectiveness the goal is to medicate P as little as possible to get the most focus factor, and not take away his personality. So far we are getting there. First appointment with Childrens is tuesday, looking forward to them figuring out why he is the way he is, so that we can effectively treat him so that he can function better at school, or they just need to figure out how to teach him in away he can learn best. I think the latter is what needs to happen, since Perry is Perry and I don't want to change that. Nuff said. Off to the birthday party!

Hugs

This is probably my all time favorite video. Not to mention it's Dave Matthews, and he's dang cute. I am the least likely person to plant a hug on ya. But if you come at me with a hug, I usually welcome it, most of the time will grumble, but sometimes in need of one but wouldn't dare tell nobody. Not sure why I am like that, just am, and I am ok with it, unless I need a hug then I'll usually just ask Ron or Perry.



Ok so heres a photo of me, on Thanksgiving. My head above my beautiful turkey, only it's the turkey's arse! At least you can see my lovely atire for the day......nice.....it was my cooking outfit, and since the electric was out for 45 min. I was in a rush. Therefor there was no getting dressed time in between cooking and eating time....so...I have on this memorable outfit when the guests arrive.

U2

Forgot to mention what I did on monday night I watched, Bono, with Abby, and man he is just way cool that's all I am saying. They are so much better with age. Except Larry, he looks greasy. But Adam, Bono and The Edge.....very distinguished.

Turkey Respect!

The turkey seems to be losing so much respect as the years go by. What happened to Pilgrams and indians, and cornacopias? All I see is Christmas trees, santa, and snowmen. All I hear is Christmas music. Why can't we celebrate Thanksgiving first? Why must we be thrust into Christmas before we've even put the bird in the oven. Why can't it be the month Christmas is actually in before we drag out the tree, or the music? I went to Michaels to see if they had any fun foam craft for P to make for the centerpiece....what did I end up with? A gingerbread house...went for the real deal instead of foam. I would have liked a turkey made of foam, but none to be found, why because the Turkeys' got no respect. So I am procrastinating in the worst way, I am suppose to be preparing for the feast and making my home presentable to guests........I am doing this again this year, it'll be divine I am sure. Happy Turkey day people, and please wait till next week for the freakin tree!

Sunday.....

Feeling so much better today. I scrapped like a maniac yesterday all over town. Love that. Thanks Ron for giving my much needed space. What do you call a Mega church, with all restrooms out of order, no coffee, no childrens ministry on Sunday, and no water in the Baptistry and it's All Worship Baptism weekend........You call that spiritual warfare is what you call that. Satan worked a little overtime, and VCC's watermain broke last night, which made for the shortest worship service in VCC history. I am striving to become a better writer someday I'll grow up and be just like. HEATHER.

No Good Very Bad Day.....gets Better!

I can think of many different things to do with $200. I mean a lot of things can be bought for $200. No price is ever too much to pay for help for my kid the way I see it. However if you've been recommended to me by a respected Psychologist, and a friend.....I do not anticipate you to disappoint me....but you did. And it cost me $200 to be disappointed, which makes me feel rather sickly. So what am I speaking of? Mine and Perry's initial coaching session at The Affinity Center, it was an hour and a half of stuff I already knew, a lesson on the brain and how it works, going over the stupid questionairs I had to fill out, of which I've filled our on numerous occasions, her looking over the evaluation done at school baffled by the scores...."how can he be high and above average here, and below average here.....blah blah blah blah....." To which she responds with "yeah according to the accessment Perry is clearly classic ADHD....." Whoa....and you went to school for that? Tell me something I don't know! Some other crap about the brain being asleep and the brain being awake and what causes that. At no point during the session did she tell me what they could do for us, or what the possibilities were in plain folks I'm not a clinical psychologist language. She was also kind enough to strategically tell me waking up 45 min before Perry has to get on the bus isn't logical for him, if I expect him to dress himself, yeah ok tell me something I don't know. I am a women ruled by chaos, don't mess with that it works for me. One thing she did tell me was Concerta (the medication Perry takes) is a time released medication that lasts 12 hours. Knew that. But what I did not know, was it reaches it's peak or it's best 6 HOURS AFTER IT'S TAKEN!!!! Wow......well no wonder he seems to be all together and somewhat focused by the time HE GETS HOME FROM SCHOOL...and his teachers are reporting they are unable to get him to focus and he can't sit still. Ahhhhhhhhhh.........Ok so I've been going to a psychiatrist (whom I don't care for) who prescribes this medication, who I've voiced this information to, and he didn't tell me anything like that. Who the hell am I suppose to believe??? The psychiatrist I don't like or the know it all....."how about a lesson on the brain" smarty pants women I just met?? Or the lovely, very helpful, nothing but respect for psychologist who suggested I check out the Affinity Center in the first place, yet didn't inform me of the peak performance of Concerta.....did he not know this?? OMG.....so frustrated.....so I leave the Affinity Center with MORE QUESTIONAIRS, a couple for me and one for each of his teachers. Shelled out 200 bucks, signed a release form, recieved a privacy act paper....(CAUSE I NEED MORE OF THOSE).....took Perry to school, once he was out of sight I cried! Went to work, and did a little discreet cube crying, vowing not to return to The Affinity Center, and giving a shout out to Stacie to pray for me since I was on the verge of losing it. She told me I shouldn't be made to feel this way and to wait for Childrens to call. She just finished a round of assessments for her son, and she was totally pleased with how she was treated by childrens from the moment the started the rather lengthy process. And she lives in Maryland! While pursuing the help of The Affinity Center, I purposefully did not cancel anything with Childrens Hospital, in the event things didn't work out.........THANK GOD...........Feeling extremely overwhelmed and pretty much useless at work, I turned my late arrival into a half day and left early. I had called Ron to inform him of my frustration, and said we need to decide what to do. WE meaning I can't keep feeling like I am the only one dealing with this. So while I was waiting for some pictures to be processed Ron calls me on my cellphone with a "guess who just called......?" Gasp.....Childrens hospital, our first appointment is Dec 6th!!!!! Not only did they call when I was at the peak of my frustration, but my husband who never wants to take responsibility for important stuff, took it upon himself to schedule the appointment, and felt rather confident in doing so! God is so good, why would ever think anything less? Thanks for your prayers folks they work, don't ever think that they don't.

Creativity....

I sure could use some of that. I am a creative person, so therefor, I must make all my christmas cards. Yep I need to make 80 cards, and for me to feel fullfilled they must be done at least 3 weeks before christmas, that leaves me with very little time. I was informed today that this years Army National Guard Christmas party is a dress up affair. I am praying it's not a formal. Back in the day I was all about the formal attire, but now that I am in my mid 30's I am so over it. Doesn't help I've been in 8 weddings including my own.....yowza, I've done my fair share of fancy dressin up. I am sure my husband would be rather disappointed if I didn't attend as I have in years past. I've been to some that were fun, but for the most part they are rather boring and snooty. Not down with it!

Have I mentioned lately how incredibly BORING my job is? I do it well and effeciently for the most part, but GOOD LORD it's amazingly boring. Thank God for the occasional personal e-mail that breaks up the day or it's quite possible I would lose my freakin mind. Oh and Jesus Jams, Coldplay, Green Day and Jack Johnson......save me from losing it as well. My pink ipod, I could not live without. Oh and having good conversations with my co-workers helps also. Thank goodness they all aren't crazy. I mean there are a few that are a little off, but for the most part they are all interesting and intelligent people.

Ok so it's 11pm, Perry's still awake talking to himself and I feel this overwhelming desire to go be creative. So hopefully the kid will fall asleep and I won't be up until the wee hours creating some sort of master piece....I really feel the need to alter something......look out nothing is safe! Seriously considering making my Christmas cards out of Giant Altered playing cards. Oh you think I am joking......don't challenge me, cause I will make it happen.

Mean Reds....

I am under attack! I swear, I don't have anything to be bumbed out about honestly, except maybe a extremely messy house, and a less than helpful husband. He takes a few hours to clean 1/4 of the basement, and has to stop because he's tired. That's great! I mean I am greatful for whatever help I get, but come on, there are some women who clean other people houses all day long, the entire house and they go home and have to take care of a family.

So why can't I just hand my kid his homework, guide him in the instructions and he just does it? Like sits there completes the homework, and he's done. Cause I am under attack that is why some force larger than myself is trying to beat me down. The precious angel is in there writing his spelling words 4 times each and it's 11 pm, some would find that to be abusive......He's got 5 more minutes and then I am surrendering to the unfinished homework gods. So can someone tell me why and intelligent man like my husband not see that "do to much" tuesdays would be less stressful if homework was done after school, and not late in the evening when normal folks are in bed. Why can't this just happen? Is it just that men don't think about those things, cause that's a lame excuse way over used.

So completely bumbed that this Alpha session has come to an end. We do evaluations on the last night and half my table split after the evaluations, and didn't say good-bye. Wow....does that reflect poorly on me as a leader? Did I completely freak them out? I am probably the least threatening or intimidating of any of the leaders. Did I not say enough? Not call enough? I mean granted I did have a head-ache this evening so I may have been a little unpleasant. Ahhh.....I did the best I could with the skills I have. Ok so half of 4 people is only 2, so that's not all bad I suppose. But I hate that I didn't get to say good bye, and thanks for sticking it out for 10 weeks, and find a small group....all that kind of stuff. So as if having the mean reds and a head-ache on the last night of Alpha wasn't enough. I am just not good at the hospitality thing. Like I plan on taking peoples plates, getting drinks for folks and all that stuff, but inevitably someone else jumps up and does it before I get a chance. I'm just slow. So thought I'd pump up my hospitality skills and I made cookies last night for my table. So what happens, one of the people at my table stops at Perkins and gets giant eclairs and the largest brownies you've ever seen. So my cookies looked all generic, stale and lame compared to that. It was very nice of her don't get me wrong, and I am sure my cookies were tastey, but I wouldn't know cause I was eating a ginormous eclair! Yes, yes, mean reds indeed.....must go be sad and cry a bit, and then maybe I'll feel better.

Light

This quote was given to me by a co-worker I am getting to know better through our common interest in all things paper. I shared with her some of the struggles I am being faced with lately. And although she doesn't know me very well, she seems to sense what my hearts desire is in alot of things. Just the fact she thought of me when she read this quote means so much to me.

Light

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light.
Not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
Theres nothing enlightened about shrinking.
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not in some of us.
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine.
We unconsciously give other people
Permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear;
Our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson, used by Nelson Mandela in his inauguration speech.

Name it!

I am all about seeing spiritual warfare and naming it when it happens. That may seem a bit freaky to some folks. It's so freakin obvious when satan shows up in your life. Ecspecially when things are going good, and you feel good about where your relationship with God is headed. It happens a lot, and it's gotten to the point where I expect it. See it for what it is and get rid of it. Like this morning, on the way to church Ron and I are trying to have a conversation that was innocent, but serious, and it turned ugly and it didn't need to. He said some things that weren't nesessary, and so did I. At which point I said, "so how's it feel letting satan creep up on you like that and take over." Ron just laughs, he sees it, I know he does. He is so used to me just telling it like it is and not holding anything back. Satan doesn't like it when we are all snuggly tight with God, so he messes with us. Dang he's such a butthead.

In other news. The alpha leaders got to have dinner at Dave and Anita's tonight. Having dinner at the senior pastors house makes a ginormous church seem a little bit smaller. Also makes me proud to be part of a super cool team, cool enough to be invited. They are all truly servants of God.

I am kind of looking forward to the Holidays, and kind of not. I haven't a clue what I am doing for christmas cards. I have the pictures for them, but don't know what those pictures are going to go into. Oh the pressure. Ok life is officially boring......All I talk about is church and scrappin, and lately mostly church. I mean I suppose that's a good thing, my priorities are right, but I've got nothing else interesting to say? My completely boring and mundane worklife has trickled over into my regular life, and even my extra curricular activities sound insanely boring. Something needs to happen here people. I don't want drama, or something horrible to happen. I want excitment, something super cool and exciting to spice up my life a bit. If nothing exciting happens this week, I am going to pop open a bottle of Riesling, and make Ron watch Jane Austin chic flicks all weekend. OMG........he'd so hate me!

Hooked Up....

Saw a powerful message today at a leaders meeting for church. We watched Paula White, give a message on the Prodigal son, Luke 15. More importantly she spoke about the older brother, you know the one who remained faithful to the father and wasn't off running around getting his party on, but stayed by his fathers side and did his work. How often those who are faithful feel overlooked. Kind of like folks think, ahhhh they got it all together they don't need to be celebrated. Like when the prodigal son returned home, and they threw a party for him. The older brother felt a bit slighted because here he was having his dad's back the whole time, and he didn't get a party. The thing is, we get a party everyday. We meaning those who are faithful. God delights in those who are faithful. And if ain't nobody giving you a party, then you gotta throw your own party for yourself. Throw on some praise music and celebrate yourself. Do something just for you, because you've been faithful. Man my girl Paula sure knows how to tell it like it is.

28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

HG Hook-Up.....

The term HG Hook-up was a phrase pretty much made up by my best friend Abby and I when we were in high school. I would venture to say that she came up with it. Well it's stuck with us all these years. My mother said it to one of her co-workers just yesterday and he totally got it, and plans to use it. Then she tried it out on an older gentlemen who happens to be a preacher, he didn't get it at first, but then once he did, he was way impressed and plans to use it in a sermon. Ha! That's almost like becoming famous right there.
So if you are lost, and are like what the heck is an HG-Hook-up......it literally means Holy Ghost Hook up. We would say it when something really cool would happen to us. We'd be like....."ahhhh that was the HG Hook-up!" Crazy that we still use that, but hey you need to give credit where credit is due that's all I'm saying. Nuff said.....

I could seriously use an HG hook-up right about now! Keep prayin!

Happiness

Some things just make me happy!

Some things are just Scary!

Flora.....

Church was exceptionally good today. It's always good, but God was doing something with me before I even got there, as well as Ron. Ron often seems like a reluctant church attender. But in more recent months, and maybe since his return from Hurricane Relief, he's been more purposeful in his walk. Ecspecially during this series about work. He's not one to search for something better as far as jobs are concerned. He finds happiness where he is and makes it work. Occasionally complains, but is a genuinely hard worker. Heck he's gotten employee of the month at least twice. Not to mention he is one of the Army's hardest working soldiers. He seems to be soaking in how to apply God in the work place, and it's a good thing. Completely changes ones attitude. So why Flora? It was shown at the very end of the service about this little girl from Hondoras. Why did it touch me so much? First of all becoming a believe is completely and simply that simple. As the faith of a 9 year old from another country who heard the message from a sunday school teacher and believed. Didn't question. And said I want that, and I want to take it back to my war torn country. So so precious. My story could not even remmotely be as beautiful as hers. But I was the same age when I said yes to Jesus, and I knew then just like she does, that God would use me for His Greater Glory. I knew at that young of an age that I had a God calling on my life, without a doubt. Prepare to be forever changed, grab some tissues, and allow God to speak to you and his calling for your life through this precious little girl. Flora's Story

When you get to the weekend message page click on video, and however wonderful daves message is on Joseph, if you don't have time for all that and just want to get to Flora's Story, fast forward it to 57:12 around there. Also if you wanna hear an amazing song as well. Scoot it forward to 13:54, Sweetly Broken, which I am. Man we are going to miss Robbie! Hope everyone's week is great, keep praying!

Grown Up?

So I think tonight I became a grown up. How's that you say? I became a "Shareholder" of VCC. Was a bit skeptical when I went to the roll out of the Shareholders thing a while ago. Thought what's this membership at the Vineyard.......Oh boy here we go welcome to becoming a denomination. But then when it came time to sign, did the bible study, signed the agreement that yes you can count on me, I thought it was a done deal and nothing more was needed on my part. Oh no you gotta sign a formal agreement and a pastor co-signs along with you....now they got me. Seriously, in a sense it's like membership, and then it's not. It's more like just what it is a shareholder, I own stock in this place I call my church home. The place that is the foundation of what I believe in and what I base my life on. So yes sign me up. It's totally doing grown up church. There are friends who are about 6-10 years younger than I and they are still at that rebellious stage where they don't want that accountability and want to volunteer when they "got time", or don't want to set a commitment in case something goes wrong and they need to jump ship. Which is totally fine to be that way, but at some point you gotta grow up and care about what happens, and be a part of the big picture. Listening and understanding the vision and the budget.....all those freakin numbers and for the most part I understood what the heck they were saying. So tonight I became and official shareholder, I'm part of the Army, I've got the dog tag to prove it. So cool. Doesn't change the fact that I am still a Jesus lovin maniac.....Just means I am part of an Army of Jesus Lovin Maniacs......LOL.....yes you may quote me on that, it's a good one. I need a T-shirt!
Oh and I met some different folks tonight. Purposefully sat near folks I knew but away so then eventually I'd be surrounded by strangers so I could meet different people. This lovely older couple sat next to me super friendly husband and a timid wife. The even moved in right next to me so there wasn't that stranger space empty seat. And also so that when folks came in late they could easily slip in without walking over folks, so thoughtful. When we prayed you could seriously feel the holy spirit in these folks so cool. As we left, the thanked me for allowing them to sit next to me, and asked if there was anything they could pray for. How cool is that, complete strangers, that's what the vineyard is all about praying for folks you don't know and being real about it. I am confident that these people who I may never see again, will be praying for me. Man I love my church!

Ouch!

Dang it, how does a girl go 15 years with no cavities, then all the sudden she needs a filling. Rather unpleasant experience I must say. I've tried to blog at work before but for some reason it may not post. So we shall see what happens, just feeling the need to let off a little steam.

I've felt so overwhelmed with life lately, I've seriously neglected my domestic duties. Plus Ron's been on vacation so that throws me way off my normal routine. Life is good, busy but good. Alpha is winding down, only 2 more weeks left, then we get a break for a bit than back to it in January. I'd love to carry on with my table as a small group seems they need that. I just don't have the energy to be a small group leader again. Plus after trying to get one rolling last year and it flopped, just don't have the energy. I think it's being a mom of an 8 year old whose involved in more things, leaves little time to be involved in a lot. I need to be realistic, I can have one activity for myself, which is Alpha, one hobby, which is scrappin, the rest is kid time. I need to stick to that formula, or everything becomes chaotic.

God job door is not closed yet........ahhhhhh....the agony. Goes to show I am an incredibly patient person. The doors still open but only a crack for now. When I recieved the news that basically I didn't get it....but then with a for now tagged on to the end, it was wierd I wasn't disappointed at all, I was actually extremely happy. Must have been a God thing, for as much thought, and prayer I've put into it you'd think I'd be laying on the floor crying like a baby. Goes to show God is all over that, he knows where I belong and where my talents and gifts would be of the most use, it's only a matter of time. Who knows I could end up in a foreign land dishing up rice to the natives..........Ha, highly unlikely for now....but someday!

Happy Halloween

Geez my kid, lazy, lazy, lazy! We get to trick or treating and he's all pumped, then after 10 houses he's butt tired and wants to pass out from exhaustion. Drug him around for 2 blocks and gave in to his whines. Someday he'll make it the whole 2 hours.

He sure made a cute pirate. And Zacks costume was dang funny.

Brrrrr.....

How about we go camping in the Smokies this year, in a tent. With the added addition of a small flameless propane heater this should be something any camper could do. Have tent will travel to the mountains no matter what the tempurature. Then theres the fact that it dipped down to 34 degrees....and the tent is made of nylon, with a roof that is entirely made of mesh. Odd doesn't seem to hold heat too well. Neither does fleece blankets for that matter.......now that is just dang funny. More on our polar expedition tomorrow. For now I will be going to my warm bed, in my warm home. Waking up and getting into my warm car, to work where heat is plentiful. I love technology, that allows heat to be readily available anytime anywhere.

Longest ever!

This has been the longest ever I've gone without updating my blog I believe. Must mean life is way busy. And it is. Just wait till we add basketball to the mix, watch practice will be on Tuesday! I always wondered what it would be like to be that person whose life was so busy she didn't even have time to scrap. OMG.....I'VE BECOME THAT PERSON......and I said it'd never happen. It has and I feel so ashamed. It's completely unavoidable. Still officially waiting for that call, haven't heard a peep about the God job, so hold on to your britches faithful fans, I know you are praying so don't quit. I look around at my co-workers who use big life insurance words on a daily basis, and wonder why it is they sound like they know what the hell they are talking about. Do I sound like that? Ever? God I hope not. Promise not to ever bore my blog, stalkers with boring ass life insurance jargon, trust me you'll remove me from your favorites if that happened. Must go pack for camping, bought an ultra cool tent heater, hope it is toasty! Stay tuned on Monday for fabulous pictures of the Moutains.

Nice Weekend....

Well the Alpha Day Away was awesome as usual. The Holy Spirit did not disappoint. Kind of bummed my whole table didn't show, but it was all but one. So that was cool, and they all seemed to be happy with the outcome of the day. My apprentice leader is awesome, he and his wife are a lovely couple, and it's cool to see them grow to be super cool Godly people. Plus he said I was a good leader and that was very flattering. I do try, lack in the hospitality part, but my gifts are elsewhere so I make up for it. Feeling a little disconnected from my close friends lately, maybe because I haven't been to a crop in over a month. I think P's new dose of meds is working better. Don't want to say for sure until we've had a full week of it. Kind of dissappointed in the lack of communication from his teachers. Frustrating when you beg to be involved and you get nothing on the other end. Can't try if I don't know what to do. P signed up for basketball. He knows nothing about the sport, but is willing to give it a try, could be interesting. I hope he enjoys it.

Bleh...

No better way to end a fast but to experience extreme glutiny. Isn't that how it's done? We went to Buca Di Beppo, and ate way too much and spent way too much money. But Ron suggested Olive Garden.....once you've eaten at Buca Di Beppo, Olive Garden seems like fast food or something. I am officially spoiled and snooty! Long day tomorrow must get to bed!

FAST IS OVER!

Unless someone calls me right now and tells me "you can do it!" Too late, I'm done. I made it 40 hours. Ron tried to push me to make it to 48 but he's coming home, and I am not so sure he wants to see me on a completely empty stomach. It was rather interesting what your body does. It wasn't too terrible, but my vision was getting a bit cloudy, (could have been from dirty contacts), and my head didn't stop hurting. It wasn't a full on headache, but......it was just hurting.....I was beginning to get rather uncomfortable and I don' t thing that's what God had in mind. I did some serious prayin, got some clarity on some P stuff, and feel better about other things as well. It was a good fast and I'm glad I made it as long as I did. Hey it was the 40 hour famine.......Jodi style. It did however cost me 100 dollars is scrappin supplies. Hummm.....next time it'll be a shopping fast. Going to go have some soup.

Confessions of a shopaholic who is fasting.....

So what does one do when they are not eating during their lunch hour?? Shop...duh...I'm a shopaholic! For some reason I was thinking when one fasts for spiritual reasons, they shouldn't talk about it. Which is true to an extent, since it is between me and God. But it seems that when I share it with some the why, most understand, and get it, and it has an effect on them in a profound way. Or they are secretly talking about what nut I am behind my back. Whatever that's where the "between me and God" comes in. So why fast? At first there was just one reason, and then as I felt confirmation that fasting was the right thing to do, several other reasons fell into place. It's just a 3 day fast. I say just like it's been easy. Ha Ha....clarity yes, easy not so much. Free lunch at the workplace today to roll out the new vision. Lasagna....right.....gotta go shop, so I headed to Haps. I do feel hungry right now, it's been almost 24 hours, but it's not unbearable. It's completely doable. I've been drinking V8 splash, OJ and water. I did take a few tylenol, cause I have a headache and I had some gum, cause ones mouth gets rather funky when no food is put in it. It may seem wierd but I find myself praying with clarity and more purposeful, I feel like I know more what to say to God. They say when no food is consumed toxins leave your body. Very true. You seem to be very intune to what God is saying when you fast. Full report on how I am feeling tomorrow. And any suggestions what my first food consumption should be on Friday at midnight may be rewarded.

It's Tuesday.....

Ok the do too much day is shifting to Thursday this week. Sorry for the late notice, alot went on today, but most of it shifted to my mama....thanks Mom.....Man thanks everyone for your prayers it's been overwhelming how many folks got my back, you guys are truly amazing. Now can you shift all the prayer doing to my kid. He's having a tough time at school. Kids don't get him because socially he misses cues that most kids would pick up on. Theres a couple kids who get him and just accept him for being Perry, but I'm not even completely sure that he even kicks it with them often. He says he does, but you never know if he's just talking to you to get you to stop asking questions or if he's really telling you the truth. So frustrating. I just don't want folks to pick on him. So we go to the psychiatrist and maybe do some med adjusting. Wish medication wasn't the answer, but the alternative is way way way worse. My prayer is that switching won't have to happen and just an increase would do the trick and help him focus. Or that his teachers would find something that would help him. And that his teachers would "get" him. So so so important. It'd be so easy to view him as a disruption, and just get frustrated and just let him do whatever to keep him quiet and happy. Or that they would be gentle, patient and persistant, and draw him out of Perryland into the land of learning. Ah yes....wouldn't hat be nice. Can we just stay there for a little while?

Ok I knew I wasn't the only one who LOVES Greys Anatomy. I so need Tivo so I can watch these amazing scenes over and over. Check out Heathers blog.....She does a far better job descibing why this show is so good than I could ever. Yes the closing scene is what awesome TV shows are made of. And Yes if I need a major organ removed, can it be Patrick Dempsey who does the cutting? Thanks that'd be great!

It's a Good Thing!

Things that are good at this moment:

• Bookmark making
• Someone paying me to make bookmarks for their friends. (that's kind of fun!)
• Jones Cream Soda
• Splenda
• Cooking a whole chicken in the crockpot
• Eating healthy most of the weekend
• Perry's voice is all raspy because he's got a cold
• Ron comes home this week
• Scenic route paper, beautiful on both sides
• The smell of fabritac glue
• Finding my Art Journal and I may even do some stuff in it.
• Feeling a sense of peace with what God has planned for my life
• Feel like my life is going to dramatically change here soon, don't know why just a feeling.
• Fun mail from Lisa in California
• Pumpkins
• Crisp fall air, seems so clean
• Kate Miner song Overwhelmed (latest blog entry although from August is worth reading, and you can hear some of her music there. Come to the Water is good too)
• Ben Stiller with Jack Johnson, funny stuff
• Greys Anatomy is on tonight
• Wallace and Gromit
• New White Barn Candles (which happen to be on sale for $10) got some fall scents, Creamy Nutmeg, and Cinamon Pumpkin....very nice.

You guys Rock!

Thanks for your prayers. You'll know the outcome soon enough. Just know that I appreciate it more than you could imagine. Now about Jack Johnson. Did I come late to the Jack Johnson party or what. I love him. He's like James Taylor only better and hipper. There's probably some JT fans screaming at their computers right now. Simmer down, my blog my opinion deal with it! Love the silhouette look of this video, and the subtle humor. I think if I was Jack I would have wacked Ben with the guitar towards the end.

Brother stepped up to the challenge of helping his sister. I am all about not realizing what I am going to need until like the day before. I have a leader retreat gig tomorrow morning, not realizing mom sleeps during the day, duh. So brother called for some childcare hook up of his own, so it's a you help me I help you and then we come together and kick it. It all worked out real easy like that, so it's all good. Big shout out to little bro, coming through like that! I think I'll do a little cleaning right about now. A little domestic work never hurt anyone!

Challenge

Ok I am challenging all you prayer warriors who have stepped up and been faithful this far. Tomorrow at 3:30 pm, is a good time to do that amazing praying thing you do.

New INXS for ya! Why all the sudden am I obsessed with a dead guy?

INCREDIBLE DAY!

****PLEASE TELL ME YOU ARE DOING THE HEAD SHAKING INXS DANCE!********
Do it with me, head goes up and down in a "yes" motion. Now shake it in the "no" motion, awesome!

Wow, man when you people pray, you ain't kidding. You take this praying thing very serious. I will not devolge (is that a word) to much detail so as not to jinx myself. But WOW! I can't imagine going through a roller coaster of a day like today and not having a God connection. There's absolutely NO way. How can people live like that? I don't get it at all. I can't imagine for a moment having hook up after hook up and not thinking God had a part of that, theres no way coincidences happen like that, completely impossible. Then theres the people I know who don't have the God connection and my gosh, their lives are a royal wreck. I mean honestly I have had catastrophys happen in my life, but was able to come out of it with peace because well God hooked me up with that peace. What do you do if you don't have a God thing going on, no peace, and if you do find peace where does it come from? I can see where the folks I know, have moments of happeness but it never seems like true happeness, theres always the next big catastophy around the corner to push them a little deeper into the hole, till pretty soon you are buried. Or you find immoral means to create a sense of happiness. To which you then beat yourself up over it, and the guilt comsumes you so then you have to medicate yourself to get through the day.....NO THANKS.....I'm not saying hooking up with God equals instant peace in your life, you still have to work at it. But the waves of heartbreak always seem easier and less torturous to me. I'm just speaking by what I see because I've not ever been through an horrible experience without God, but know people who have. Nuff said....rambling craziness, but someone will get something I am sure. Promise to unload the mystery when the time is right!

I am a coward!!!

Biggest coward ever! Terrified of rejection so I avoid being assertive. What is it with me? Thank goodness Abby doesn't read my blog or she'd be all over me about being a coward. Ugh....I suck. I won't get into the why....those who know me well know the why, and that's cool. Man old school INXS....theres enough video's out there to sustain me for a good while, I think I might just hook it up with some INXS till I've used them all. They will never be as they once were. NEVER....got that JD? I was obsessed with Michael Hutchinsen back in the day, he was so dreamy and had good hair, I had that hair.....love it. Never noticed before though....dude he dances like a girl! I like the head bobbers in the background and the dude playing air drums in the referree shirt.....too dang funny. Ok folks need to pray for me to be assertive, cause I can't do it, it'll need to be God if anythings gonna happen. I was actually creative last night, I made bookmarks for folks at my table. I was up half the night cause I procrastinated, but it got my creative juices flowing, and now I feel some mail art coming on, or something in an altered book perhaps.....look out, more artwork in the next few days I promise! Well heck Rob if you read my blog theres your bookmark, won't be much of a surprise. It's so much cooler in person. Ha....love that quote by MLK jr! Incase you can't read it. "Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase." MLK jr

So so true.

Good Shopper Indeed!

No intentions of buying stuff today, seriously! I'm suppose to be working on some projects, but I felt the lure of Itunes.....it's like some sort of spell it casts on you and calls you into it's presence....creepy actually. So you surf around and suddenly find yourself looking at something rather frightening.......David Crowder, seriously frighten looking dude. But do you have to be pretty to make amazing worship music? I think not. I think he makes himself look scary on purpose, just so you'll close your eyes and worship, because that my friends is what happens when you hear his music. And low and behold he has a new album, which has a super cool looking cover, which means it's has to be good music. It's all vintage looking and funky looking.....what's happening?? Tons of good songs, I'll probably listen to it tonight as I go to sleep, nothing better than listening to good worship music as you go to sleep. You can check out the A Collision E-card it will give you a little taste. Check that bad boy out HERE! Or you can take a listen at the my space thing too...check that out HERE.....GOOD NIGHT!

I Resign!....

I am so done being a grown up right now. I don't wanna play anymore, I want someone else to take over and run things for a while. Too much responsibility. I have to be a good parent, good employee, good daughter, good Christian, good friend,good wife, good stranger....too damn much people. Get me off this crazy train. Oh gotta be a good housekeeper too, I am failing at a lot of those miserably. Those are all the things I need to do and the only thing I can do is be a good shopper. Not good, not good at all.

The door for the God job remains open. I keep thinking it's going to slam shut, but nope still a possibility. Don't want to get my hopes up, yet trying to remain positive since it would be a nice hook up if it pans our the way I think it would. We shall see. If not I know it's just not where God wanted me. Nuff said.

P got in trouble on the bus yesterday. Apparently he is having difficulty staying in his seat, and he hit a kid. Probably cause the kid was trying to make him sit down. Well the Assis. Principle called and left a message to this regard. To which Perry denied all allegations. Although, his integrity was in question since he sits directly behind the bus driver, therefore, the bus driver would actually see P hit or stand up. So he was sentenced to his room till he was willing to share his side of the story. To which he continued to deny all allegations and said they just said he did it. After 2 hours of incarceration, the prisoner wore down, and confessed to his crime. It went a little something like this.

Mommy: Perry do you remember why you are in trouble?
P: Mommy I don't wanna be under punishment anymore.
Mommy: Do you recall the reason for you punishment?
P: Alright Mommy I'll talk about it. (in a wee small voice)
he softly says....."hate to break it to ya mommy, but the bus driver was right, I did hit, and I did stand up.....I'm sorry I lied. but a kid pushed me like this (he pushes his chest)
Mommy: I am glad you told the truth. You'll remain punished until I get home from work tomorrow. If it happens again you won't be allowed to ride the bus anymore. (he actually loves riding the bus.)

The prisoner is now free, and enjoying Fosters Home for imaginary friends.

Stacie wins for funniest link ever....gets kind of raunchy but dang funny! Steve Don't Eat it!
Give the Foo Fighters some love would ya!

No Seriously......

Whose trying to be funny. It's self portrait tuesday, thought I'd sign up for this gig. Because I love to do stuff on Tuesdays. If I could schedule everything to happen on Tuesdays that would be great, because theres just not enough stuff to do on Tuesday. So lets just add to the things we already do on Tuesdays, and self portrait session shall we?
So there it is. Me on a Tuesday, at the end of her DAY FROM HELL! Thought it was smooth sailing once I got to Alpha, and was reassured that the Alpha folks had been praying for me. Wondered why I hadn't completely lost it yet, since things seemed to be going as if I should be stressed, yet I wasn't feeling it. Well that's because folks were praying Duh! Just cause I wasn't handing my stuff over to God (cause I got this remember?) doesn't mean everyone else was for me. Here I am trying to lead people to find the right answers about God, leading them to a healthy spiritual life, and I am suppose to be setting a good example, and I am completely failing at spirituallity 101. Completely distancing myself from God, and not being purposeful with my walk and spending time chatting with the big dude whose obviously making things easy on me and less stressful. Wow what a freakin reality check tonight was. I may have gotten more out of the Prayer talk than the people at my table. I was honest though, so at least they know I'm human. Ok so heres a rundown of the crazy crazy day!

Work half day
Pick P up 1 hour early from school
head to the super cool psychologists office
On time and happy about that.
Get halfway down the road that goes to his office.
Police, yellow crime scene tape, can't get there from this direction
No receptionist at his office
call the other office they can't help me cause they ain't there.
leave message for the doctor, going to be late, police ect....
try another direction
get lost cause I am directionally challenged.
Perry a little concerned that the Police won't let him see the doctor he enjoys
End up making a big 10 mile circle, Police still there, try again.
This time I find it, Perry screams with delight with a raspberry for the police who tried to keep him from his appointment, that now only has 30 min left.
Get to the office and wait....wait somemore, because...no receptionist...and signs saying do not go past this point because of confidentiality blah blah blah....so we wait....
by the time Doc actually heard us out there, we only had 10 min left. Of which Mr. Super cool Doctor we love made those 10 min. quality, so still happy even if I had to pay a co-pay for 10 min.
Head to Meijer for a quick trip to pick up some cool gummy ear buds for my ipod, love them, wanted pink to match but all they had was black, it's all good. The cord is kind of pink. I think this selfish act was when things began to go very bad.
Meet mom at my house for her to take me to get my car that was being serviced, a routine 100 dollar tune up....(barf)....She drops me off, then I head to Alpha.
Is anyone else exhausted yet??? ME!
Alpha so so good, encouraged that folks were praying for me, talk on prayer, table went well folks shared their hearts good stuff. Mom suppose to drop Perry off at church after cubscouts, so after meeting see the junior helper who usually has him, but no Perry, and she's not seen him. Slight panic.
Ok no after alpha meeting for Jodi, must find son.
Head to childcare area, no Perry, and they hadn't seen him all night, he never show'd. What?
I had precise plans of how things were to happen, very easy, everything was communicted properly. Call my house, home phone not working line trouble....NOT....good. Geegaws should have cellphones. Call brothers house, get sister in law all worked up and worried, I was a little concerned, and getting a little anxious, but not yet freaking out, she's an instant freaker outter, always a good balance for us laid back folks, good thing she married my brother also pretty laid back, but me more so than him. So at least someone was paniced, since clearly I was not yet....called best friend, got her to head to house she lives close, to see if Geegaw just forgot?? BINGO, she didn't forget, she was just delayed by a longer than usual Den meeting. And was now waiting for me to come home, but couldn't call from my phone (line trouble remember). So best friend gets to the house, Geegaws getting in her van, and best friends like "mom where ya going?" To which she responds in a frantic response to church to drop off Perry....I'm now going to be late for work. She then asks, Mom where ya been? To which Mom responds......
"the police station..." Screeching tire sound effect, best friend schrieks in horror.....ahhhhh...what happened, OMG is everything ok. Because she didn't remember the fact that I told her the cub scouts were visiting the police station tonight.....Mom said...."cubscouts".....LOL Oh that's right. Best friend took P with her, and I head home, Geegaw headed to work. I get home phone still not working. Talk on cellphone to husband with a run down of the chaos that is my life. Problem is I'd have this drama whether he was here or not, theres just the added bonus that he ain't here. Talk to best friend, cellphone now goes dead.....telecommuncation devices are no longer my friend at this point, any moment now the computers going to fizzle out, I can feel it. Check e-mail and theres a e-mail in regards to the part-time God job.....more stress to think about, how about we get that on Tuesday too. It's the job description of all the responsibilities, which is a huge list to be accomplished as a part-time position......ahhhhh.....are they my gifts? Must pray about that, many many are, but am I up for a non-boring demanding job, when I've been doing boring not stressful for 10 years now? Wonder what God's thinking? I may need to pray, and more importantly quiet myself and listen. I am sure this is probably the longest blog entry to date. HECK IT'S TUESDAY WOULD YOU EXPECT ANYTHING LESS?
Yes yes, there is something rather disturbing about this, and the fact that I own this pen. It says like 6 different phrases all of which make me smile and laugh with delight, and that's all that matters.
I shall declare Tuesday, "do too much day"! Anyone care to join me? I wouldn't advise it to those who don't have folks praying about your stress levels. Thanks to the folks who stepped up to the challenge of stress this evening. Layni, my best friend, retrieving my child, Sister in law, freaking out and panicing when I should have been but was not, I am sure theres a purpose for that. Brother for checking mom's house, in a timely manner, probably because your wife was freaking out, response time was amazing you should be a police officer. And to Geegaw who seems to be completely oblivious to her children freaking out about her whereabouts and still got to work on time. Theres a lot to be said for punctuallity of that nature and on a TUESDAY no less!

I got this!!!!

****NOT A CRY FOR HELP****

Not to worry people I got this! So I thought I did. Harold (best friends husband) came and started it, since I am not strong enough to get it pull started. I called and he ran right over....love friends like that. Well after trying to figure out how to get the blades to stay down for 5 min....I cut a strip in the front headed to the back, and it stalled out.....WHAT THE HELL....Why does our riding mower have to be from 1976? It has a button that says "push to start" why can't that work? So Harold had headed off to a soccer game, brother had a doctors appointment. So I call my dad, he says. "I'll be right over!" Now maybe I can just get this man to stay here and just do it. Or help me do it! I'll ride you walk we'll have it done in no time. No big deal. We'll see. This is #1 why I don't like to ask folks for help. Wish someone would just schedule themselves to just cut my freakin grass once a week, so I don't have to worry about since it just stresses me out. And #2 why I like to shop on the weekend....requires little stress! Dads here....

Update: Yep he just did it! Even the super high grass around the bee hive. Ron wouldn't cut it because he is allergic to bees. See that's what I'm talking about you call you dad, he takes one look at you cutting grass, and he said let me just do it "fast".....dang I was just making sure it was cutting. Oh and that stupid riding mower....good heavens. He couldn't start it either. So we pushed it back in the shed, and dad got the push mower. 1.5 hours later it's all cut, I made him some ice tea. I'll round up some snapshots for him so he can make some crazy collage and we'll call it even. Good ole, dad, I cried help and he dropped everything and was here in a flash. Thanks Dad, and Harold for having my back! Oh and the kitchen's clean, and the bathrooms mopped. Kids in the process of getting cleaned then it's my turn. A very productive Saturday indeed.

I know, I know, I know......

Ok I realize when theres a bomb that's been dropped on you, that could have the potential of being rather devastating, people just don't know what to say. Kind of like when someone dies. Ok heres what not to say, and no offense if you've already said it to me. "Well it could be worse he could be shipped off to another country." Ok you are talking to the queen of "it could be worse." However, whether he's in another country or the same country, doesn't change the fact that he ain't here helping me deal with life. Sure he's safer here, but who knows there could be another hurricane heading where he is at this point you never know. Have you seen the crazy Crocidiles? To make things worse, they're sitting around waiting to be given something to do. Isn't there a system?? When a new unit comes in you go relieve another unit and keep rotating how hard can it be. But to sit around and do nothing, good Lord you can do that at home in the comfort of your air conditioned home. Oh and our husbands in "top secret" military mode....crazy. It's like they are always in character. Where are you going? "I can't tell you, you never tell military movements." Oh and then all shocked that it's on the news where they flew into. Um yeah, you aren't running and hiding from the bad guys, you are helping clean up a hurricane ravaged city. We can know where you are, seriously it's not top secret. It appears I've been commanded to answer some questions from Stacie.

5 things to do before I die:

1. Go on several mission trips.
2. Be able to read lots and lots of really good books from beginning to end.
3. Lose 100 lbs
4. See my kid graduate college
5. Travel to many foreign countries with my family

5 Things I can not do:

1. Swim well
2. Jump off a diving board
3. Go to the grocery and not buy something I don't really need
4. See without my glass's
5. Not believe God exists


5 Things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Good shoes, like cool shoes.
2. Nice hair (um my husband is bald)
3. nice eyes
4. Awesome sense of humor
5. Hears me when I speak


5 things I say most often:

1. Ahforreal....
2. Perry (usually it gets louder)
3. Turn off the TV
4. Come here
5. No


5 celebrity crushes:

1. Jon Foreman (lead singer of Switchfoot)
2. Dave Navarro
3. Danny from the real World New Orleans (ok so he's gay I can fix that!)
4. Chris Martin (lead singer of Coldplay)
5. Sidney Poitier


5 people I want to do this next:

1. Blog stalkers you know who you are.
2. Rochelle Stewart, don't even act like you ain't readin get to typin in the comments!
3. Leah
4. Teri Fode
5. Cyndi

Ah yes that was fun, made me think real hard. Thanks Stacie you're the best!

I'm Tough...really I am!

Well I do pride myself on being a tough women! I mean really I can handle things by myself. Plus I have friends who will help me if I ask. Yeah but theres the part I hate. Asking for help. Hate it, hate it, hate it. I'd rather let the grass grow to my knees than to ask someone to cut it for me, cause I sure ain't cutting it. Sounds like they will be part of the clean up. Melinda said it best, they sure as hell better not take them to New Orleans, and they sit around trying to figure out what the heck they need them to do. Cause if that's the case I'll find them some people to feed. The Army can do that too! How appropriate I took this picture last weekend who knew how very timely it would be?

This is what Military Chaos looks like. Ain't too pretty! 

One Phone Call......

Can change your plans rather quickly. It was Ron's job to decide on dinner this evening. It's friday, and I have to do it throughout the week for Perry and I, so a girl needs a break. So we head to Golden Corral, not my first choice as buffets can sometimes be icky to me. But I enjoy it nonetheless. Ron sits down to begin eating his bourbon chicken, and his phone vibrates. He answers as if the person on the other end can't hear him......"Hello.....what's that.....yeah...." imagine a resturant full of people and him yelling into the phone. This is a person who HATES to draw attention to himself, so it didn't last long. Quickly says lemme go outside and call you back. He gets up and says to me, looks like I'm heading to Louisianna.........and then he leaves. So I sit replaying all the weekend plans we have that I will now either not do, or go it alone. I am a tough women it definately takes more than my husband leaving for and extended period of time to rattle me. But now we head into the "military BS=chaos" bunch of idiot men trying to plan a road trip is what it boils down to. And doing it quickly. My computer room will look like a small army blew up, probably even after he leaves. And now when Perry is off the hook crazy hyper at home and at school. I'll be fine, really I'll be fine. It ain't like it'll be 6 months or some crazy nonsense like that. God kind of made me feel like one of us would be going, kind of had a feeling it wasn't me. Someday my day will come, but probably not until Perry is much older. I'll wait. Send up some words, that I don't lose my mind and Ron is safe from thugs, and disease. And that tragedy effects him in a way that's life changing in a positive way.

The Fathers Song!

Dang I love being an Alpha leader. What a freakin amazing ministry to be a part of. How lucky I am to have this experience. What an awesome ministry. Every single Alpha table I have, has at least one or two Catholics. What a great foundation to build on, but many of them are hurting, and feeling like they so missed something. And they have, they miss out on the personal relationship. To so many of them they learned nothing about a personal relationship with Jesus in all the religion class's they attended, or church services they went to. Why is that? Why in the Catholic faith is Jesus not personalized? How can a person experience grace if they don't know Jesus personally?

Something else we discovered tonight which is rather interesting and I never thought about it. Seperation of church and state even effects Catholic schools. I went to public school, and many at my table went to Catholic school. At know point did any of us learn in school about Jesus as a historical figure. Hello, he was a huge part of history. All of us didn't learn of him in history class until college.

Don't get me wrong, the ceremonies, and rituals can be very beautiful, but rarely does it reach your heart.

Wish this song could be heard but for now here's the lyrics. Love love love it......

I have heard so many songs
Listened to a thousand tongues
But there is one
That sounds above them all
The Father’s song
The Father’s love
You sung it over me and for eternity
It’s written on my heart
CHORUS:
Heaven’s perfect melody
The Creator’s symphony
You are singing over me
The Father’s song
Heaven’s perfect mystery
The king of love has sent for me
And now you’re singing over me
The Father’s song

God's always talking!

Couple interesting things:

2 weeks ago I was totally on a Chris Tomlin kick. So sunday, Robbie plays mostly Chris Tomlin songs, and all the songs I had been listening to, up until the switchfoot release. How does he do that? Totally a God thing. God knows when I am listening, which is usually when I am worshipping which heck now is all the freakin time. Considering I listen to music, often times worship music while I am working. Then in the car on the way home, and then sometimes on the computer when I am surfing. Considering I only sleep 4 hours a night....ok maybe 5, I almost listen to music 18 hours a day....is this possible? Ok wait take out a few hours for TV time, so it's not quite as much, but still quite a bit. I'd say more than 10.

Not changing the video for a while, gotta keep the love going for Switchfoot. If you are a regular blog reader but tired of the song if you hit the big red X in your tool bar it stops the video and the music, and you can continue to read without the song going. I totally understand and respect those who may not have the love for Switchfoot that I do, it may not be for everyone.

Perry cuteness.....saying prayers tonight with no prompts for help from me tonight:

"Dear God
Help us have a wonderful night,
Help the baby tiggie to go to sleep
Thank you for all your beautiful creations.
I love you very much....
Amen"

Now if he'd just stay in bed he'd remain cute.

So obsessed!

With switchfoot that is. Connie bought the CD off of me, so not to worry. Hopefully she loves it as much as I do. And I got the bonus media stuff with my download so all is good. Well Suzie got the boot! So sad, she didn't deserve to go, she delivered each and every week, it was rare for her to have an off week. Mig should have been the one to go. He just doesn't fit, he's too much of a pretty boy. I know JD's going to win, it's so freakin predictable and I absolutely hate it when shows are predictable. Survivor started tonight, they brought Steph and Bobby John back, poor Bobby John was sick and pukin the whole first episode. Man am I a TV junky or what?

Oh and the God job, wasn't given to someone else. That someone else apparently is just doing it temporarily till they fill the job. Who knows, still an option, but God will need to be all over it. Hopefully he is, because Life insurance does not get anymore entertaining, and I should be studying for LOMA....some idiotic test about life insurance. I've failed it twice now, because I don't even open the freakin book, why you ask???? CAUSE IT'S FREAKIN BORING PEOPLE. Why at my age do I want to allow my brain to absorb such literal nonsense, just so I can do a boring job better? Every ounce of my being rejects anything like that. There are people in corporate american who thrive on that crap, who do well in my line of work because they can place themselves in those situations, and enjoy it......ENJOY IT??? I don't see it, I can't make anything I do fun, theres no way to make it fun. It's flat out boring. Now the people I work with.....that's entertainment. Thank God for the folks I see everyday, who make it worth going in for. Now don't get me wrong I could be doing worse, I think......yeah I could be doing worse, I could be doing my husbands job. Now his work is at least not boring, it's the people he works with that are idiotic. LOL.....put our two jobs together you got one good job. Like take the people in my office and have them Go to Ron's work and do his job, and work in his enviroment, and the hours he has to work......OMG....all the sudden I love my job and my husband for the sacrafices he makes just so I can buy another pair of shoes. Thanks honey your the best!