Hugs

This is probably my all time favorite video. Not to mention it's Dave Matthews, and he's dang cute. I am the least likely person to plant a hug on ya. But if you come at me with a hug, I usually welcome it, most of the time will grumble, but sometimes in need of one but wouldn't dare tell nobody. Not sure why I am like that, just am, and I am ok with it, unless I need a hug then I'll usually just ask Ron or Perry.



Ok so heres a photo of me, on Thanksgiving. My head above my beautiful turkey, only it's the turkey's arse! At least you can see my lovely atire for the day......nice.....it was my cooking outfit, and since the electric was out for 45 min. I was in a rush. Therefor there was no getting dressed time in between cooking and eating time....so...I have on this memorable outfit when the guests arrive.

U2

Forgot to mention what I did on monday night I watched, Bono, with Abby, and man he is just way cool that's all I am saying. They are so much better with age. Except Larry, he looks greasy. But Adam, Bono and The Edge.....very distinguished.

Turkey Respect!

The turkey seems to be losing so much respect as the years go by. What happened to Pilgrams and indians, and cornacopias? All I see is Christmas trees, santa, and snowmen. All I hear is Christmas music. Why can't we celebrate Thanksgiving first? Why must we be thrust into Christmas before we've even put the bird in the oven. Why can't it be the month Christmas is actually in before we drag out the tree, or the music? I went to Michaels to see if they had any fun foam craft for P to make for the centerpiece....what did I end up with? A gingerbread house...went for the real deal instead of foam. I would have liked a turkey made of foam, but none to be found, why because the Turkeys' got no respect. So I am procrastinating in the worst way, I am suppose to be preparing for the feast and making my home presentable to guests........I am doing this again this year, it'll be divine I am sure. Happy Turkey day people, and please wait till next week for the freakin tree!

Sunday.....

Feeling so much better today. I scrapped like a maniac yesterday all over town. Love that. Thanks Ron for giving my much needed space. What do you call a Mega church, with all restrooms out of order, no coffee, no childrens ministry on Sunday, and no water in the Baptistry and it's All Worship Baptism weekend........You call that spiritual warfare is what you call that. Satan worked a little overtime, and VCC's watermain broke last night, which made for the shortest worship service in VCC history. I am striving to become a better writer someday I'll grow up and be just like. HEATHER.

No Good Very Bad Day.....gets Better!

I can think of many different things to do with $200. I mean a lot of things can be bought for $200. No price is ever too much to pay for help for my kid the way I see it. However if you've been recommended to me by a respected Psychologist, and a friend.....I do not anticipate you to disappoint me....but you did. And it cost me $200 to be disappointed, which makes me feel rather sickly. So what am I speaking of? Mine and Perry's initial coaching session at The Affinity Center, it was an hour and a half of stuff I already knew, a lesson on the brain and how it works, going over the stupid questionairs I had to fill out, of which I've filled our on numerous occasions, her looking over the evaluation done at school baffled by the scores...."how can he be high and above average here, and below average here.....blah blah blah blah....." To which she responds with "yeah according to the accessment Perry is clearly classic ADHD....." Whoa....and you went to school for that? Tell me something I don't know! Some other crap about the brain being asleep and the brain being awake and what causes that. At no point during the session did she tell me what they could do for us, or what the possibilities were in plain folks I'm not a clinical psychologist language. She was also kind enough to strategically tell me waking up 45 min before Perry has to get on the bus isn't logical for him, if I expect him to dress himself, yeah ok tell me something I don't know. I am a women ruled by chaos, don't mess with that it works for me. One thing she did tell me was Concerta (the medication Perry takes) is a time released medication that lasts 12 hours. Knew that. But what I did not know, was it reaches it's peak or it's best 6 HOURS AFTER IT'S TAKEN!!!! Wow......well no wonder he seems to be all together and somewhat focused by the time HE GETS HOME FROM SCHOOL...and his teachers are reporting they are unable to get him to focus and he can't sit still. Ahhhhhhhhhh.........Ok so I've been going to a psychiatrist (whom I don't care for) who prescribes this medication, who I've voiced this information to, and he didn't tell me anything like that. Who the hell am I suppose to believe??? The psychiatrist I don't like or the know it all....."how about a lesson on the brain" smarty pants women I just met?? Or the lovely, very helpful, nothing but respect for psychologist who suggested I check out the Affinity Center in the first place, yet didn't inform me of the peak performance of Concerta.....did he not know this?? OMG.....so frustrated.....so I leave the Affinity Center with MORE QUESTIONAIRS, a couple for me and one for each of his teachers. Shelled out 200 bucks, signed a release form, recieved a privacy act paper....(CAUSE I NEED MORE OF THOSE).....took Perry to school, once he was out of sight I cried! Went to work, and did a little discreet cube crying, vowing not to return to The Affinity Center, and giving a shout out to Stacie to pray for me since I was on the verge of losing it. She told me I shouldn't be made to feel this way and to wait for Childrens to call. She just finished a round of assessments for her son, and she was totally pleased with how she was treated by childrens from the moment the started the rather lengthy process. And she lives in Maryland! While pursuing the help of The Affinity Center, I purposefully did not cancel anything with Childrens Hospital, in the event things didn't work out.........THANK GOD...........Feeling extremely overwhelmed and pretty much useless at work, I turned my late arrival into a half day and left early. I had called Ron to inform him of my frustration, and said we need to decide what to do. WE meaning I can't keep feeling like I am the only one dealing with this. So while I was waiting for some pictures to be processed Ron calls me on my cellphone with a "guess who just called......?" Gasp.....Childrens hospital, our first appointment is Dec 6th!!!!! Not only did they call when I was at the peak of my frustration, but my husband who never wants to take responsibility for important stuff, took it upon himself to schedule the appointment, and felt rather confident in doing so! God is so good, why would ever think anything less? Thanks for your prayers folks they work, don't ever think that they don't.

Creativity....

I sure could use some of that. I am a creative person, so therefor, I must make all my christmas cards. Yep I need to make 80 cards, and for me to feel fullfilled they must be done at least 3 weeks before christmas, that leaves me with very little time. I was informed today that this years Army National Guard Christmas party is a dress up affair. I am praying it's not a formal. Back in the day I was all about the formal attire, but now that I am in my mid 30's I am so over it. Doesn't help I've been in 8 weddings including my own.....yowza, I've done my fair share of fancy dressin up. I am sure my husband would be rather disappointed if I didn't attend as I have in years past. I've been to some that were fun, but for the most part they are rather boring and snooty. Not down with it!

Have I mentioned lately how incredibly BORING my job is? I do it well and effeciently for the most part, but GOOD LORD it's amazingly boring. Thank God for the occasional personal e-mail that breaks up the day or it's quite possible I would lose my freakin mind. Oh and Jesus Jams, Coldplay, Green Day and Jack Johnson......save me from losing it as well. My pink ipod, I could not live without. Oh and having good conversations with my co-workers helps also. Thank goodness they all aren't crazy. I mean there are a few that are a little off, but for the most part they are all interesting and intelligent people.

Ok so it's 11pm, Perry's still awake talking to himself and I feel this overwhelming desire to go be creative. So hopefully the kid will fall asleep and I won't be up until the wee hours creating some sort of master piece....I really feel the need to alter something......look out nothing is safe! Seriously considering making my Christmas cards out of Giant Altered playing cards. Oh you think I am joking......don't challenge me, cause I will make it happen.

Mean Reds....

I am under attack! I swear, I don't have anything to be bumbed out about honestly, except maybe a extremely messy house, and a less than helpful husband. He takes a few hours to clean 1/4 of the basement, and has to stop because he's tired. That's great! I mean I am greatful for whatever help I get, but come on, there are some women who clean other people houses all day long, the entire house and they go home and have to take care of a family.

So why can't I just hand my kid his homework, guide him in the instructions and he just does it? Like sits there completes the homework, and he's done. Cause I am under attack that is why some force larger than myself is trying to beat me down. The precious angel is in there writing his spelling words 4 times each and it's 11 pm, some would find that to be abusive......He's got 5 more minutes and then I am surrendering to the unfinished homework gods. So can someone tell me why and intelligent man like my husband not see that "do to much" tuesdays would be less stressful if homework was done after school, and not late in the evening when normal folks are in bed. Why can't this just happen? Is it just that men don't think about those things, cause that's a lame excuse way over used.

So completely bumbed that this Alpha session has come to an end. We do evaluations on the last night and half my table split after the evaluations, and didn't say good-bye. Wow....does that reflect poorly on me as a leader? Did I completely freak them out? I am probably the least threatening or intimidating of any of the leaders. Did I not say enough? Not call enough? I mean granted I did have a head-ache this evening so I may have been a little unpleasant. Ahhh.....I did the best I could with the skills I have. Ok so half of 4 people is only 2, so that's not all bad I suppose. But I hate that I didn't get to say good bye, and thanks for sticking it out for 10 weeks, and find a small group....all that kind of stuff. So as if having the mean reds and a head-ache on the last night of Alpha wasn't enough. I am just not good at the hospitality thing. Like I plan on taking peoples plates, getting drinks for folks and all that stuff, but inevitably someone else jumps up and does it before I get a chance. I'm just slow. So thought I'd pump up my hospitality skills and I made cookies last night for my table. So what happens, one of the people at my table stops at Perkins and gets giant eclairs and the largest brownies you've ever seen. So my cookies looked all generic, stale and lame compared to that. It was very nice of her don't get me wrong, and I am sure my cookies were tastey, but I wouldn't know cause I was eating a ginormous eclair! Yes, yes, mean reds indeed.....must go be sad and cry a bit, and then maybe I'll feel better.

Light

This quote was given to me by a co-worker I am getting to know better through our common interest in all things paper. I shared with her some of the struggles I am being faced with lately. And although she doesn't know me very well, she seems to sense what my hearts desire is in alot of things. Just the fact she thought of me when she read this quote means so much to me.

Light

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light.
Not our darkness, that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves,
Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?
Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small doesn't serve the world.
Theres nothing enlightened about shrinking.
So that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We were born to make manifest
The glory of God that is within us.
It's not in some of us.
It's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine.
We unconsciously give other people
Permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear;
Our presence automatically liberates others."

Marianne Williamson, used by Nelson Mandela in his inauguration speech.

Name it!

I am all about seeing spiritual warfare and naming it when it happens. That may seem a bit freaky to some folks. It's so freakin obvious when satan shows up in your life. Ecspecially when things are going good, and you feel good about where your relationship with God is headed. It happens a lot, and it's gotten to the point where I expect it. See it for what it is and get rid of it. Like this morning, on the way to church Ron and I are trying to have a conversation that was innocent, but serious, and it turned ugly and it didn't need to. He said some things that weren't nesessary, and so did I. At which point I said, "so how's it feel letting satan creep up on you like that and take over." Ron just laughs, he sees it, I know he does. He is so used to me just telling it like it is and not holding anything back. Satan doesn't like it when we are all snuggly tight with God, so he messes with us. Dang he's such a butthead.

In other news. The alpha leaders got to have dinner at Dave and Anita's tonight. Having dinner at the senior pastors house makes a ginormous church seem a little bit smaller. Also makes me proud to be part of a super cool team, cool enough to be invited. They are all truly servants of God.

I am kind of looking forward to the Holidays, and kind of not. I haven't a clue what I am doing for christmas cards. I have the pictures for them, but don't know what those pictures are going to go into. Oh the pressure. Ok life is officially boring......All I talk about is church and scrappin, and lately mostly church. I mean I suppose that's a good thing, my priorities are right, but I've got nothing else interesting to say? My completely boring and mundane worklife has trickled over into my regular life, and even my extra curricular activities sound insanely boring. Something needs to happen here people. I don't want drama, or something horrible to happen. I want excitment, something super cool and exciting to spice up my life a bit. If nothing exciting happens this week, I am going to pop open a bottle of Riesling, and make Ron watch Jane Austin chic flicks all weekend. OMG........he'd so hate me!

Hooked Up....

Saw a powerful message today at a leaders meeting for church. We watched Paula White, give a message on the Prodigal son, Luke 15. More importantly she spoke about the older brother, you know the one who remained faithful to the father and wasn't off running around getting his party on, but stayed by his fathers side and did his work. How often those who are faithful feel overlooked. Kind of like folks think, ahhhh they got it all together they don't need to be celebrated. Like when the prodigal son returned home, and they threw a party for him. The older brother felt a bit slighted because here he was having his dad's back the whole time, and he didn't get a party. The thing is, we get a party everyday. We meaning those who are faithful. God delights in those who are faithful. And if ain't nobody giving you a party, then you gotta throw your own party for yourself. Throw on some praise music and celebrate yourself. Do something just for you, because you've been faithful. Man my girl Paula sure knows how to tell it like it is.

28"The older brother became angry and refused to go in. So his father went out and pleaded with him. 29But he answered his father, 'Look! All these years I've been slaving for you and never disobeyed your orders. Yet you never gave me even a young goat so I could celebrate with my friends. 30But when this son of yours who has squandered your property with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!'
31" 'My son,' the father said, 'you are always with me, and everything I have is yours. 32But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' "

HG Hook-Up.....

The term HG Hook-up was a phrase pretty much made up by my best friend Abby and I when we were in high school. I would venture to say that she came up with it. Well it's stuck with us all these years. My mother said it to one of her co-workers just yesterday and he totally got it, and plans to use it. Then she tried it out on an older gentlemen who happens to be a preacher, he didn't get it at first, but then once he did, he was way impressed and plans to use it in a sermon. Ha! That's almost like becoming famous right there.
So if you are lost, and are like what the heck is an HG-Hook-up......it literally means Holy Ghost Hook up. We would say it when something really cool would happen to us. We'd be like....."ahhhh that was the HG Hook-up!" Crazy that we still use that, but hey you need to give credit where credit is due that's all I'm saying. Nuff said.....

I could seriously use an HG hook-up right about now! Keep prayin!

Happiness

Some things just make me happy!

Some things are just Scary!

Flora.....

Church was exceptionally good today. It's always good, but God was doing something with me before I even got there, as well as Ron. Ron often seems like a reluctant church attender. But in more recent months, and maybe since his return from Hurricane Relief, he's been more purposeful in his walk. Ecspecially during this series about work. He's not one to search for something better as far as jobs are concerned. He finds happiness where he is and makes it work. Occasionally complains, but is a genuinely hard worker. Heck he's gotten employee of the month at least twice. Not to mention he is one of the Army's hardest working soldiers. He seems to be soaking in how to apply God in the work place, and it's a good thing. Completely changes ones attitude. So why Flora? It was shown at the very end of the service about this little girl from Hondoras. Why did it touch me so much? First of all becoming a believe is completely and simply that simple. As the faith of a 9 year old from another country who heard the message from a sunday school teacher and believed. Didn't question. And said I want that, and I want to take it back to my war torn country. So so precious. My story could not even remmotely be as beautiful as hers. But I was the same age when I said yes to Jesus, and I knew then just like she does, that God would use me for His Greater Glory. I knew at that young of an age that I had a God calling on my life, without a doubt. Prepare to be forever changed, grab some tissues, and allow God to speak to you and his calling for your life through this precious little girl. Flora's Story

When you get to the weekend message page click on video, and however wonderful daves message is on Joseph, if you don't have time for all that and just want to get to Flora's Story, fast forward it to 57:12 around there. Also if you wanna hear an amazing song as well. Scoot it forward to 13:54, Sweetly Broken, which I am. Man we are going to miss Robbie! Hope everyone's week is great, keep praying!

Grown Up?

So I think tonight I became a grown up. How's that you say? I became a "Shareholder" of VCC. Was a bit skeptical when I went to the roll out of the Shareholders thing a while ago. Thought what's this membership at the Vineyard.......Oh boy here we go welcome to becoming a denomination. But then when it came time to sign, did the bible study, signed the agreement that yes you can count on me, I thought it was a done deal and nothing more was needed on my part. Oh no you gotta sign a formal agreement and a pastor co-signs along with you....now they got me. Seriously, in a sense it's like membership, and then it's not. It's more like just what it is a shareholder, I own stock in this place I call my church home. The place that is the foundation of what I believe in and what I base my life on. So yes sign me up. It's totally doing grown up church. There are friends who are about 6-10 years younger than I and they are still at that rebellious stage where they don't want that accountability and want to volunteer when they "got time", or don't want to set a commitment in case something goes wrong and they need to jump ship. Which is totally fine to be that way, but at some point you gotta grow up and care about what happens, and be a part of the big picture. Listening and understanding the vision and the budget.....all those freakin numbers and for the most part I understood what the heck they were saying. So tonight I became and official shareholder, I'm part of the Army, I've got the dog tag to prove it. So cool. Doesn't change the fact that I am still a Jesus lovin maniac.....Just means I am part of an Army of Jesus Lovin Maniacs......LOL.....yes you may quote me on that, it's a good one. I need a T-shirt!
Oh and I met some different folks tonight. Purposefully sat near folks I knew but away so then eventually I'd be surrounded by strangers so I could meet different people. This lovely older couple sat next to me super friendly husband and a timid wife. The even moved in right next to me so there wasn't that stranger space empty seat. And also so that when folks came in late they could easily slip in without walking over folks, so thoughtful. When we prayed you could seriously feel the holy spirit in these folks so cool. As we left, the thanked me for allowing them to sit next to me, and asked if there was anything they could pray for. How cool is that, complete strangers, that's what the vineyard is all about praying for folks you don't know and being real about it. I am confident that these people who I may never see again, will be praying for me. Man I love my church!

Ouch!

Dang it, how does a girl go 15 years with no cavities, then all the sudden she needs a filling. Rather unpleasant experience I must say. I've tried to blog at work before but for some reason it may not post. So we shall see what happens, just feeling the need to let off a little steam.

I've felt so overwhelmed with life lately, I've seriously neglected my domestic duties. Plus Ron's been on vacation so that throws me way off my normal routine. Life is good, busy but good. Alpha is winding down, only 2 more weeks left, then we get a break for a bit than back to it in January. I'd love to carry on with my table as a small group seems they need that. I just don't have the energy to be a small group leader again. Plus after trying to get one rolling last year and it flopped, just don't have the energy. I think it's being a mom of an 8 year old whose involved in more things, leaves little time to be involved in a lot. I need to be realistic, I can have one activity for myself, which is Alpha, one hobby, which is scrappin, the rest is kid time. I need to stick to that formula, or everything becomes chaotic.

God job door is not closed yet........ahhhhhh....the agony. Goes to show I am an incredibly patient person. The doors still open but only a crack for now. When I recieved the news that basically I didn't get it....but then with a for now tagged on to the end, it was wierd I wasn't disappointed at all, I was actually extremely happy. Must have been a God thing, for as much thought, and prayer I've put into it you'd think I'd be laying on the floor crying like a baby. Goes to show God is all over that, he knows where I belong and where my talents and gifts would be of the most use, it's only a matter of time. Who knows I could end up in a foreign land dishing up rice to the natives..........Ha, highly unlikely for now....but someday!