Preparing for a Gain

Ok tomorrow is the dreaded weigh in. I've been completely surprised for the past weeks. But this week was different. I did a whole lot of emotional eating. Went to Buca Di Beppo for dinner on Saturday with some friends and it's been all downhill since then. It was as if I completely forgot I was trying to decrease my size. So it's back on the wagon for me come tomorrow. I'll try to keep things under control this weekend. So start sending up some words I can maintain control. And get this eating back on track. By the way Buca Di Beppo is now officially my favorite resturant. And splenda is my favorite artificial sweetner.

Lenora Jan. 2, 1928- Feb. 18, 2005

Lenora 

Motivation at an all time Low!

Death and grieving must just do it to you. A dear friend of my mothers passed away on friday. It was her sister in law. The second to die in the past year. I've known her my whole life from church, but wasn't ever that close to her. I feel it's one of those things that was taken for granted. Growing up at Lindenwald United Methodist, she was one of those people who was just always there. I thought of my best friend on Sunday, and how hard it was to go to church that particular sunday with no Lenora.
My best friend moved down the street from Lenora 2 years ago. Ashton her 11 year old daughter formed a relationship with Lenora. She would visit her and keep her company pretty much everyday. Lenora shared stories with her, the kind that her grandkids and children probably heard a million times. But with Ashton she had fresh ears. Ashton leaned on her every word. And to Ashton Lenora knew everything. Tomorrow is the funeral and I am taking Ashton. It'll be hard to hear everyones memories about Lenora. I am glad Ashton got the oppurtunity to develope this special relationship. It then doesn't seem that we missed out, since we will get to see Lenora through Ashton's eyes. Once I figure out how to post a picture I'll do a proper memorial post.

Wheres the Flavor?

Ok so I gained 8oz last week. To me that's basically just staying the same, I could have pee'd out 8 oz. It's tough though, as big as I am, I'll have to eat like this for the rest of my life. It just doesn't seem like fun. Will it ever get fun? I mean ever since I've started on the journey to lose weight all I want is chicken wings! Not just a few but like 10. And man that would send me over the edge for sure. Why does everything that's bad for you have to taste so good? And things that are good for you.......not so good. I had one of those skinny cow ice cream things last night, it tasted cold, and wet. But there didn't seem to be much flavor! I am helping with the Valentines day party at school today. Oh help me! I like my kid and maybe 1 friend but 24 of them.....yikes. I would imagine there will be some out sick so that's less kids.

Oh my!

It's been a while. I did lose 3.5 lbs in the second week of WW. So I am down 8.5, maybe. I didn't go last week since I was heading out of town to FOOD HELL, otherwise known as a weekend scrapbooking retreat. The kind where counting points just ain't gonna happen. Treats available 24/7 and these people like McDonalds are just trying to kill people. I mean they are my friends and they do love me, but spinich dip, cheese balls, roll ups, brownies, cookies, mexican dips, it goes on and on.........so I splurged, mostly grazed and never made a plate. Figured if I just grazed I'd eat less.....Well I grazed often. So we shall see come friday. It's been really hard to get back in the swing of things after FOOD HELL.

What the?

Ok seriously Spongbob is not gay so shut up already. Leave him along he's a sponge for God sake and he's in love with a diving suite wearing squirrel named Sandy.