Thursday, December 16, 2004

What the???

OMG.....what's going on? Have I become that person? Has it happened? I went to the mall yesterday evening after work, went to sears got Perry some new Sketchers, and eyed some super cool Sketchers for myself that I did not purchase, but wanted really really bad. They are the bomb, I want the brown ones! Ok so I take Perry's shoe's back and exchange them for the right size today. That was all I was going to do, I looked at my shoes again. And thought Lazarus sells Sketchers maybe they have them on sale. So I go out in the mall. And thought as I crossed the threshhold of Sears and the mall.....Lazarus is way far away from Sears. Do I need those shoes. I always need shoes, but those shoes??? Then I spy a place called CJ Banks...hummm....sells plus sized clothing. Ok time for a side story........
I have lunch with a couple ladies almost everyday, they are 10 years older than me, but I won't hold that against them. They are wonderfully nice, respectable women. They enjoy coconut deserts (yuck) and like to wear festive clothing. Nothing wrong with that, I just look pretty dorky in festive clothing. At least that's what I think. They look, festive in their festive clothing. I own one Christmas sweater, that sometimes I wear during the holidays sometimes I don't. It's not overly festive or flashy, just your average Christmas zip up cardigan. Well these women, and they aren't the only ones. They have all kinds of festive clothing for all kinds of holidays and seasons. I generally recycle the same 5 outfits from week to week, and it wouldn't be uncommon for me to wear Monday's khaki's again on Friday. This I would imagine would be unheard of to them. However I think they are awear of my fashion sense and lack of festive clothing and accept me for who I am, strippedy socks and all. End of side story.......

Back to CJ Banks. Apparently the festive clothing ladies, often buy their festive sweaters at Christopher & Banks. I've been in there once, and didn't see anything I was drawn to, and left, this was years ago. Well now they have CJ Banks which is the same store for plus sized women, apparently the country is getting fatter me included. I had been considering getting a new sweater not necessarily a festive holiday sweater but a new sweater. They had all kinds of nice soft lovely sweaters. Solid colors as well as some prints. A nice sweater with a dog on it, and dog bone buttons....yeah I'll need to pass on that one. I was drawn to this particular rack of sweater vests, that were a brown and black color. It was a christmas sweater vest, with stick figure cats embroidreied on it, they were cool and artistic looking which I usually like, but not on something I am wearing. But this was a cool unique looking holiday sweater vest, nobody would have one like this. So the battle to win me over was on. It looks nothing like the Reindeer Sweater from Brigette Jones Diary so I'm good. They had my size, it was one sale. So I carry it around for a minute. The whole time thinking WHAT AM I DOING? I look for a turtleneck to match, held a few colors up to it and nothing look good. Go to the clearence rack, and well look they have a white long sleeve t-shirth that coordinates perfectly with the cats on the sweater. And it's on sale. So all the sudden I am at the register. And I am buying this coordinating outfit! Oh it gets better. Those of you that know me I don't generally talk to strangers unless I have to. I mean I am not rude, I'll say please and thank you or have a nice evening but generally unless it's appropriate I don't talk to folks. Well this lady, wants to talk ABOUT THE CAT SWEATER VEST.
saleslady: "Oh I think you got the last one."
me: "no there was one more."
saleslady: "it's really cute." (should have been my clue right there NOT FOR YOU)
me: silence
saleslady: "Do you have cats?"
me: "I have a cat."
saleslady: " Yeah me too, well 12 of them."
me: "WOW!"
saleslady : Crazy cat lady laughter
saleslady: "What color is your cat?"
me: (at this point a little bit scared and wondering where I am exactly) "oh she's a tabby, so she's black, brown and white.
saleslady: "oh very pretty, does she have long hair or short hair."
me: "short" (wanting to cry, barf or run out of the place.)
other crazy sales lady: "yeah she pretty much buys anything we have with cats on it."
me: smirk..."oh" Are these people serious???
Crazy cat sales lady starts to fold my items I've somehow purchased against my will. She then pulls out a shelf thing and lays them gently on some tissue paper, folds the tissue paper around the cat clothing and places a sticker neatly in the center to hold it together, then puts it into a lovely bag that looks like a gift bag. Odd.....they don't do that at walmart! I've apparently stepped into a high class store. Total cost for my festive clothing $42 which included tissue paper, gift bag, and a shiny gold sticker. So I call my brother on the way home, just to see if what just happened was really against normal Jodi antics. He immediately started yelling at me that I needed to turn around and take them back. As soon as the words "cat head buttons" came out of my mouth, I knew I was in trouble. I stopped to get Perry from my mom's she thought my sweater vest was very nice, with the matching t-shirt. She would though she wears sweatshirts with doilies sewn on to them, and she owns more than her fair share of festive clothing. Once Perry was in bed I talked to my best friend regarding my purchase, and her comments were. First she gasped as if she was stabbed, and then said it's happened, you've become a festive sweater wearer. This can't happen you need a shopping assistant to keep this from happening. Well when I tried on the sweater vest with the matching shirt underneath, and looked in the mirror. Immediately, I was like what the heck, that looks insane! Theres way too many cats going on. And it says "meow" all over the shirt. I took that off with the quickness. The vest is fine, I tried it on with a red long sleeved t-shirt and it's ok, still a bit flashy so I may have to hunt down my black turtleneck so as not to draw attention to myself. But the t-shirt is going directly back to the store. I just pray crazy cat lady isn't working.
Not to fear faithful friends, I promise to never own, easter, halloween, or valentines day clothing. I'll include a picture of the print that's on the shirt I am returning.

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