Tears....seriously....YOUR CRYING?

Ok so as of late my new favorite thing to do is blog about my job. Which is fine, because now I have that kind of job. As long as you don't talk about co-workers or your boss, you should be fine. The folks I talk about, I won't share their name and I am just a voice on the phone trying to save their lives apparently.

So the women on the phone describes to me what she needs and even has a article number, which is rare. She apparently planned incorrectly and got the wrong size coverpanel for her dishwasher. So as she's giving me the article, she begins to cry..........WHAT THE? I place her on hold and begin to freak the heck out. It's a coverpanel, not the end of the world, A COVERPANEL and you are crying. So I gather my thoughts, put on my best "I need to be nice to this person cause she's crying" voice, and tell her how we are going to proceed to get her the correct coverpanel, in hopes that the process doesn't send her into hysterics. She then tells me she hasn't had appliances for 2 weeks, and it's all just too much. I talk calmly and let her know her cover panel will be ready to picked up in 10 to 14 days....which I guess wasn't the right thing to say, because that was super sad to her as well. I try to say nice thing, but she says "you don't have to say anything." So I don't......
Ok so not having appliances could be nerve racking, but can we put this in perspective? You can get some ice and put your shit in a cooler, and you can wash dishes by hand for a while, heck forever, these things are luxurys. Maybe because I've experienced a 3rd world country for 10 days I might feel differently about these things. Or maybe because I am devoted to praying for folks who don't have clean water, I respond to things differently?
PSA#2 Take a deep breath, pull yourself together, before you call me about your coverpanel! I am here to help you, I will make it as painless as possible. I just ask one thing of you......DO NOT CALL AND CRY! Please wait till you hang up, then you can cry yourself a river! If you feel the need to cry Please ask for Kristi or Matt....

PSA: Attention IKEA Shoppers

Well here goes, I am going to break the #1 blogging rule. I am going to talk about my job. Lets hope I don't get "Dooced" (aka-she got fired)

This first one is to the lady who decided to pick up the display pillow's instead of getting the stuff to make the pillows. Hey Lady.....YOU CAN'T DO THAT....Do you not see that my line goes on for at least a mile, and now you have pillows that I can't sell you. Some people take this as an oppurtunity to pay it forward and say..."you know I don't really need those, I'll get them next time..." Except you didn't say that. Now you know what happens? I have to call all over the store trying to find a co-worker in that area to answer the phone, who will then give me the article numbers for the items you have, and then they will either give me the go ahead to sell the display, or you will have to wait for them to bring you the actual product.....while all the people in the line wait...and wait...and wait. So I call 3 numbers with no answer, and then resort to the manager of that area, who saves the day. She gives me the numbers I need and oddly enough was able to get someone to answer the phone, and bring the customer what she needed. Lesson learned here.....DO NOT TAKE DISPLAYS, read the signs and get the items it takes to make that fancy pillow. Co-workers in market place, answer the phone when I call this saves time and angry customers, just sayin! You've been warned don't let it happen again!
To the people, behind the lady with display pillows, sorry the 5 minute wait was too long for you, however it is not ok to leave your stuff on the belt and walk away. That's just rude! That's like placing an order in the drive-thru and driving away. Now you caused several people more work. I had to place all of your items in my go back bin, which was then full. Then some cashier had to empty that bin and take all the stuff to the go back area, and then you caused a sales co-worker to be at work a little bit longer because they then have to put all that stuff back where it came from. All of this because you couldn't wait 5 minutes! If you ain't got time, you should not come to IKEA on a saturday!
To the lovely couple who attempted to return open pillows. BIG NO NO! It was nice of you to roll them back up and shove them back into the plastic packaging, that was just impressive I ain't even mad at you for that. Please refer to the return policy on the front and the back of your reciept. We can not take back any opened bedding or pillows....those were pillows and those were opened. You look like respectable enough people, but it's clear that you could have lice. I understand you can't tell how they feel when they are rolled very tightly inside the packaging, this is why there are display model right by where you picked up those packaged pillows. I understand you can't get your head up there on that shelf to try it out, but you can get the idea from just touching it. If you can't play by the rules you should not shop at IKEA....you've been told!
Please stay tuned for more PSA's as I spend more time in the cashlanes....it's good for comic relief!

Too Much Time, so Little to do......The one where I pretend to be a Princess!

Strike that, reverse it. OMG.....Seems that actual blogging has become a thing of the past, now thanks to micro-blogging. Our lives have become so busy that telling the world what we are doing in the moment is far more feasable than sitting down and writting up something super witty that people will read.

I will attempt to share a story I've been meaning to blog about for what seems like forever. So I am a big fan of Kroger, or Bro-Kro (depending where you go, no offense), or K-ro-jay if you are fancy folk. So my usual Kroger is the fairfield Kroger. I don't have a particular day I shop on I just go when we got money and have no food. I am so disorganized that a list may or may not happen, and coupons are way too much for me to think about. Well this one particular Friday I believe it was, we needed food, I created a list on the blackberry, I gathered up coupons Krogers had acutally sent me, since they keep track of what you buy then they send you coupons for those items, quite thoughtful. I was super pleased I remember those coupons, and a list.....the grocery shopping angels were singing. Oh and even better I've made the switch in the past month from plastic to buy your own bags and bring those with you. Fairfield Krogers gives you 3 cents per bag (good people!) Then a wrench was thrown into my plans, my mom needed me to stop by to drop something off, oh that's fine, theres a Kroger right by her house I'll go there, problem solved. So I went to the 747 Kroger (now known as "I will never shop there again" Kroger). First problem, it was completely laid out incorrectly produce was on the left, mines on the right, some sort of crazy isle formation going on in the center....mine doesn't do that....UGH....induce panic attack from the very beginning. So I gather my basket full of groceries, we're talking overflowing amounts of groceries! Head to the cashlanes.....it was around 9:30 pm......appeared not a single lane was open, no cashiers, um is this place closed? Seriously....oh wait.....SELF CHECK OUT IS MY ONLY CHOICE.....for an entire basket full of groceries. That's right, you heard me! Lets recap, I have coupons, my own bags, I gathered these things myself, and now.....NOW I GOT TO SCAN ALL THIS, BAG IT, PAY FOR IT, TAKE OFF MY OWN COUPONS......WTF???? I nearly cried right there. The best part, I am pretty sure I did not get 3 cents per bag, that I remembered to bring to bag my own crap. Yeah 747 Krogers you suck, and I will not be visiting anytime soon, I don't care if you have a starbucks!

ps I am aware that I work at IKEA, the originator of GET IT AND SCAN IT YOUR DAMN SELF. Why do you think I don't shop there during the week.....duh!